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Old 10-14-2003, 10:21 AM   #82
Thenamir
Spectre of Capitalism
 
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Battling evil bureaucrats at Zeta Aquilae
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Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!
Sting

Gateskeeper did not like waiting in long lines, even though he refused to hire more help to assist the long lines of people returning or needing assistance with his soft wares back at his headquarters on the shores of the Pea Sea. The fact that Kuruharan got in so quickly without having to wait with the rest of them was suspicious indeed. The covetous capitalist-dwarf was too wily to spend the required coin to bribe the guards, so why did they treat him with such deference? Once he saw the avaristic munchkin disappear past the guards, he retained the presence of mind to furtively toss a "trace" spell at the rapidly receeding backside of the dwarf so that he could listen in on the dwarf's activities. Within 15 minutes he had logged everything he needed to know.

At long last Gateskeeper and the others were admitted to the great Casinos and Dancefloors of Ham Steep, and even his jaded eyes were amazed at the facade of posh splendor, the gold-painted crown molding, the zircon-encrusted chandeliers, the long-bearded serving-wenches. But he did not head first to the dice games or the disc-jockeys, but to a secluded corner where he fired up his pocket cell-antir and entered the secret combination of symbols that would direct his image to the land of Moredough, and the topmost floor of the great Tower Block of Barát-Höm.

Môgul's cat, "Heslob" slept on his desk atop his private satel-antir, while he himself stretched his nebulous form out in his luxurious desk chair, smoky feet propped beside the cat, for a bit of entertainment and downtime. Môgul derived much pleasure from watching his favorite show, El Amon Lhaw, true stories of the Korprat-Loyers taken from the Journal of the Muddled-Mirth Bar Association (or was it Korprat-Loyers drinking at the Bar of the Muddled-Mirth Journal Association), and seldom allowed anything to interrupt. Nevertheless, when the jangling satel-antir sent the cat screetching and scampering from the room, he dutifully activated the device.

"Gatesssy."

"How did you know it was me, O Victorious Viceroy of Vileness?" Gateskeeper said in a clandestine whisper, remembering to string together alliterative titles and hoping none of the rest of the Whatevership was close enough to hear.

"Caller-ID. You have something to report? Make it fast, the Korprat-Loyers on El Amon Lhaw are just about to crush this poor widow out of her tumbledown shanty, and I want to see her weeping on the stand, and my video tape machine is broken."

"As you wish, O Excrable Evil Excellency. You are aware that we found a couple more pieces of the Ent-that-was-broken, are you not?"

"Yes, nice work on that by the way. You're at Ham Steep?"

"Yes, O Most Malfeascent Monstrosity. The Lord Dimli seems to be doing quite well here. Are the Loyers having trouble with the hostile takeovers?"

"How did you...never mind!" said Môgul in an annoyed huff. "What have you to report?"

Gateskeeper played his card. "One of our Nondescriptship is a partner with Dimli. For some extra...'consideration'... I could open a channel for you here..."

Môgul mused on this for a moment with a smoky hiss, followed by a hacking chuckle. "You never cease to amaze me, Gatesy. First Improvas, and now Ham Steep. You know what to do. I'll make sure you have your choice of office here at the Tower Block when this is all over. And the Entish Bow."

"Indeed, O Beastly Behemoth of Brutality," Gateskeeper said, trying to hear over the thumping disco inferno in the next room, "I'll begin right away."

The Dark and Somewhat Insubstantial Lord deactivated his satel-antir and sat back. El Amon Lhaw could be entertaining, but not as entertaining as the look he imagined on Sauerkraut's face when he would be told that Gatesey would replace him.

Back in Ham Steep, Gateskeeper tucked away his cell-antir into his robe, pulled his black glove a bit tighter over his marked hand, and walked lazily to a hotel balcony overlooking the grand casino area. There he could see the flying cards of the pœkhãř area, a table where he’d recognized Jack, a Black Noodleorean, dealing games of “twenty-one”, and evern a bleary-eyed Orogarn Two frustratedly dropping Grundorian coin into the cheap slots over on the side. Then he spied his game of choice. He ordered a Tipsy Balrog from the barkeeper and meandered over to the tables of rûë-léţ with its spiked spinning wheels, a game he’d learned from watching Sauerkraut on Casino Night back at the Annual Dorktank Office Party. And he’d learned well.

Seating himself at the table with his drink, he witnessed an interchange between a slightly-inebriated dwarf-waiter, sporting a natty tag that said “Hello, My Name is Sam!”, and one of the other patrons who was complaining about the dish which had been set before him.

“This is a Quiche Lorraine! I specifically ordered a bacon pie!

You lush, remember this!
A quiche is still a quiche,
A pie is still a pie!
The culinary terms apply
As time goes by!


Now bring it again, Sam!”

Gateskeeper smirked and turned to the numbered wheel and the board that matched the numbers. Fishing out a pocketful of gold coin, he tossed a handful to the dwarf behind the wheel, who dutifully bit each one before exchanging them for the gambling chips. He observed the board carefully, then placed a 3-inch stack of large-denomination chips on the double-zero square. There were some awed oohs and ahhs (and not a few knowing chuckles) from the crowd at this maneuver, but the dwarf merely said, “Very good, sir!” before setting the wheel in motion in one direction, while sending a small ball travelling around the rim of the wheel in the opposite direction. It was at that moment that Gateskeeper whispered over the table the words he’d heard Sauerkraut use that night at Dorktank so long ago – “www.cheatcode.com”.

As the wheel and the ball slowed, the ball fell from the rim onto one of the numbered slots on the wheel…double zero. There was an immediate burst of applause from the spectators (and a collective gasp from the chucklers), as the dwarf running the game pushed 4 massive stacks of chips towards Gateskeeper for his winnings. With a dismissive wave of his hand, he pushed them back, saying “let it ride.” There was an even greater gasp of awe as the dwarf nodded and sent the wheel and ball into motion again, the nervous tension growing as the rolling and whirling continued seemingly forever until the ball lost enough momentum to trip off the rim…and back into the double-zero slot.

As the gathering crowd looked on in stunned silence, Gateskeeper thought to himself, “I’ll own this entire complex inside of an hour…”

[ October 15, 2003: Message edited by: Thenamir ]
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