[gandalf85]

I skimmed through the previous chapters before reading this one. The previous chapters all build up nicely to this one, as they're all related to building up defenses and preparing for the inevitable next move by Sauron. I have a comment about the placement of the Elessar stories but I will post them in that thread to avoid confusion.
Here are my comments:

1) RP-SL-26: I agree that the mention of the date and the "Tale of Years" should be removed from the main text, but maybe it could be placed in a footnote? Something like:

For many years the Westlands had peace, and time in which to heal their wounds; but the Númenóreans had tasted power in Middle-earth, and from that time forward RP-SL-25.5 [Footnote: the year 1800 of the Second Age] they began to make permanent settlements on the western coasts RP-SL-26{ [dated "c. 1800" in the Tale of Years]}, becoming too powerful for Sauron to attempt to move west out of Mordor for a long time.

2) There seems to be two points where Elrond establishes Imladris. The first is:

... and it was at that time RP-SL-18{[}in the year 1697, according to the Tale of Years{]} that he established a refuge and stronghold at Imladris (Rivendell).

And later:

At that time Elrond went RP-SL-32{westward [sic; probably meaning simply that he did not cross Misty Mountains]}[northward] and established the refuge of Imladris;

If we just remove that entire part "At that time Elrond went northward and established the refuge of Imladris;" I think it flows better.

3) I am confused about one section:

... Celeborn went at first to Lórien and fortified it against any further attempts of Sauron to cross the Anduin.> RP-SL-33<The History of Galadriel and Celeborn; Amroth and Nimrodel {The implication of the extract just given is that after Eregion’s fall Celeborn led this migration to Lórien, while Galadriel joined Gil-galad in Lindon; but elsewhere, in writing contemporary with this, it is said explicitly that they both}Both Galadriel and Celeborn at that time {‘}passed through Moria with a considerable following of Noldorin exiles and dwelt for many years in Lórien{‘}.>

Removing all formatting, this says that "Celeborn went at first to Lórien and fortified it against any further attempts of Sauron to cross the Anduin. Both Galadriel and Celebron at that time passed through Moria with a considerable following of Noldorin exiles and dwelt for many years in Lórien." After the first sentence, does Celeborn travel back to Galadriel, then they travel to Lorien together?

4) As it stands, the transition into "But Sauron gathered into his hands all the remaining rings..." is a bit awkward. The sentence which precedes it is "But they were never wholly free of an unquiet and a yearning for the Sea..." It also feels abrupt to transition back to Sauron after several paragraphs discussing Galadriel, Celeborn and different groups of Elves. I propose this order:

RP-SL-21<Relations of the Longbeard Dwarves and Men{Very great changes came to pass as the Second Age proceeded. ... that had formed an alliance also with the Longbeards of Moria.} This marked also the end of the Alliance of the Longbeards with Men of the North. ... and lived mostly in caves or in the borders of the Forest.>
RP-SL-46<Of the Rings of Power But Sauron gathered into his hands all the remaining Rings of Power;...and some Sauron recovered.
Men proved easier to ensnare...darkness went with them, and they cried with the voices of death.
RP-SL-22<The History of Galadriel and Celeborn At this time the first RP-SL-23<The History of Galadriel and Celeborn, note 10 White >Council was held..

There is a discussion of evil men of the East, the dissolution of the alliance of the Dwarves and Men and the diminishing and scattering of the Men of the alliance. I think this flows nicely into the next two paragraphs, where Sauron gives Rings to the Dwarves and Men. Then in the next section it returns to the Elves and discusses what they were up to.