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Old 01-21-2019, 08:10 PM   #6
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 121
gandalf85 has just left Hobbiton.
Another good chapter. I found three small typos:

and before the Council dispersed be said to Gandalf:
"be" should be "he"

Too long he had studied the ways of. Sauron in hope
There shouldn't be a period.

In the document I have there is an extra bit at the end about Turin II and Folcwine:

TS-SL-01b <Appendix A When Belecthor II, the twenty-first Steward, died, the White Tree died also in Minas Tirith; but it was left standing 'until the King returns', for no seedling could be found.
In the days of Túrin II the enemies of Gondor began to move again... Long it stood, Haudh in Gwanûr, high upon the shore of the river, and the enemies of Gondor feared to pass it.> TS-SL-02b <Appendix A Túrin II of Gondor sent to Folcwine a rich weregild of gold.>
I think this belongs more naturally at the end of the "House of Eorl" chapter. This makes the text slightly out of order chronologically (Turin and Folcwine's battle with the Haradrim is in 2885 and Gandalf's second visit to Dol Guldur is in 2850) but it is not related to Gandalf, Saruman, or the Shire at all and feels really awkward in this chapter. Also, there is one small typo here:

When Ithilien was invaded in great strength. King Folcwine
"." should be ","
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