I don't think it's we Balrog enthusiasts who have the disturbing obsession. It sounds like you ascribe sexual undertones to every story you see, hear, or read, Eve. While that may be your hobby, you can't expect everyone you meet (or even most of the people you meet) to appreciate the relevance or appropriateness of it. I read the exact same Lord of the Rings, and even with your points in mind, I still see nothing anywhere that implies any relationship beyond mere brotherly love between two characters of the same gender. Why are the male-female relationships "passionless"? Because that's inappropriate for Tolkien's story. Where does it fit in to the account of the War of the Ring?
Not only that, but the entire story was written from Frodo's point of view. Nothing was included that he didn't witness or couldn't have found out from others. Would Aragorn have gone into detail about his courtship with Arwen if Frodo had asked him about it? Hah! If Frodo had asked, would Faramir have described the passionate first kiss between he and Eowyn? Or their first night together? Maybe after gazing into Galadriel's Mirror, Frodo got the whole scoop about Celeborn's abilities as a lover?
The point is that the heterosexual relationships of the characters in the Lord of the Rings weren't necessarily bland and emotionless simply because they're not explicitly laid bare for us in the book. And even if there were relationships between the male characters, we certainly didn't read about them in the Lord of the Rings. Would Frodo have included in his book anything that would appear scandalous to those Hobbits who might read it, namely Sam's wife and children? I don't think so.
Nice try at making us all feel guilty, but your "hobby" is simply not appropriate for the Lord of the Rings. Good bye, if you choose to move along.
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