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"They are leaving the Gap, sir," announced an Orcish scout whose name evaded Gravlox. Something with lots of consonants and glottal stops. Why didn't Orc parents bestow more pleasant names upon their children?
Gravlox, accompanied by the loyers Cheetem and Ripoff, walked to the top of a hill to look down on the Gap's parking lot. Indeed there, in the distance, was the Gallowship, piling bags onto a cart filled with logs and other sundry items. There were Orogarn Two, Earnur, Pimpiowyn, Vogonwë, Kuruharan, Chrysophylax, a few others he didn't recognize and... His heart leapt and he gritted his teeth to prevent it from coming out of his mouth. Swallowing carefully, he looked down upon the graceful figure of Merisuwyniel. She tossed her head, causing her hair to fall alluringly about her shoulders. He could almost hear her musical voice and her tinkling laugh.
"Our prey appears!" cackled Ripoff. Gravlox restrained a sudden urge to disembowel the loyer. He was reasonably sure he could take one loyer in a more or less fair fight, but doubted he could defeat two. And the paperwork and depositions which were sure to follow would likely not be worth the momentary satisfaction. More to the point, they were already wielding their vile legal pads while his sword was still in its sheath. "Let's go!" cried Cheetem. So much for avoiding contact between his troops and the Gallowship.
They loped back to camp where the Orcs of the Third Shock Corps were already mounting their wargs and steeds. Gravlox leapt upon his warg and led the troops around the bottom of the hill to the north. There they waited for the Gallowship to come into view. Gravlox's face remained impassive, but his mind raced to find a way out of this predicament. Then a fiendish grin came over his face. Ripoff and Cheetem, who were observing him carefully, nodded with approval. Soon, the Itship came into view and Gravlox raised a hand. "Charge!" he cried.
With an unearthly howl, the Third Shock Corps leapt forward towards the small group of men, elves, dwarves and dragon and whatever else they had accumulated in Gravlox' absence. The members of the Gallowship scrambled for their weapons and Chrysi lifted into the air with a blast of flame. The Orcs were 200 meters away, 100 meters away, 50... Gravlox suddenly rose up in his stirrups, an odd piece of equipment for a warg, reached into his pack and withdrew a furry something.
"Wargs!" he screamed. Two dozen snouts turned toward him in mid-stride. "Get the ZERLLLLLL!" A white furry something flew from his hands and began racing away at a right angle to the course of the troops. Two dozen sets of beady red eyes followed the ball of fluff and turned after it. Now it is a little known fact of Muddled Mirth physics that wargs in pursuit of a Zerl can turn on a proverbial dime. However, Orcs lack this ability. Two dozen wargs turned to chase the Zerl and two dozen orcs were flung from the backs of their steeds.
Gravlox leapt from the back of his warg and raced forward towards the Itship. Behind him, he could hear the loyers screaming. "Fraud, misrepresentation, defalcation of property! Oooo are we gonna get you!" He ignored them and approached his former comrades. Vogonwë prepared to throw an arrow, but Merisu, frowning in recognition of the face from her troubled dreams halted the Workmudian Elf. "Beloved!" he shouted. "It is I! I have returned!"
At that moment, perhaps a dozen meters from his very confused friends, he was caught from behind. The loyers had raised their dread legal pads and scribbled their spells upon them. At once, Gravlox was struck by a swirling blue whirl of injunction. A declaratory writ smashed him over the head and an attachment seized his wooden foot. He toppled to the ground. Immediately, he was swarmed over by a crowd of orcs who pulled him away while menacing the Gallowship with their swords. The loyers threw Gravlox atop a horse, still bound by the injunction and galloped off. With tears streaming from his eyes, Gravlox reached a claw out towards his beloved and shouted, "Merisu!" Then he was gone...
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