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"I'm in my mid-thirties, I have a literal killer smile, and I sincerely welcome the presence of our Gondoria-"
The normallest-seeming of the Mordorian diplomats spoke in turn, only to be interrupted by the other Mordorians:
"Lie!" Hyarmenwë scowled, as did the other Gondorian diplomats, they were willing enough to believe it was true, as Hyarmenwë said aloud:
"Truth be told, I would certainly not deny that the last could be a lie. But then, so is the second. A smile that literally kills? That's impossible."
"You're in Mordor, honey," Skittles had countered him. "Anything is possible."
There was more of the characteristic confusion and kerfuffle, ending in Maikaelwen's improbable, or so thought Hyarmenwë anyway, statement:
"Speculate your entire lives. You will know the truth over my dead petite thirty-something body."
No one was quite sure how to respond to that. Ms. Martinet decided to move things on.
"Hyarmenwë, why don't you next?"
The elderly Gondorian scowled somewhat at the absence of his noble title, but responded quickly enough with his two truth and a lie. He had, after all, spent a few minutes in thought on the matter.
"I was born in Minas Tirith, I have three daughters, and my wife was named Lalwen."
The questions didn't go over too well.
"How are we supposed to have the faintest clue?" asked Maikaelwen. "None of us know anything about your life at all!"
"A bit jealous that a Gondorian outdid you?" Angawen egged her on.
"Outdid me? He's practically cheating! How are we supposed to know."
"I think that guessing the right answer is probably the thing you OUGHT to be doing," said Malfoidacil with an air of someone extremely bored.
"I guess that it's the last one!" said Skittles. "I don't think this old fogey EVER had a wife!"
"Then that would make my second statement a falsehood as well, since I would not have three daughters then, now would I?" pointed out Hyarmenwë.
"You don't have to marry to have kids!" said Igor, almost earnestly. "Common-law relationships are responsible for over half the families in the greater Gorgoroth area, I've heard."
"Such things are reason for being Assigned to Mordor," said Hyarmenwë coldly. "And not only is it CLEARLY beneath my dignity, but one can see that I have not been Assigned."
"But you're here, aren't you?" pointed out Skittles. "Weren't you assigned to come here?"
Hyarmenwë sighed.
"It could still be the last question," Maika noted. "His wife could have a different name."
"You are correct," Hyarmenwë nodded as graciously as he might to a Mordorian. "Who's turn is it now?"
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