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BoT-03: “fields of Aman” to “fields of Arda”: Why? It is a change from specific to unspecific. So why should the new comers of the Manwë party not decent into Arda first in the fields of Aman?
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This was actually a mistake on my part. Tolkien originally wrote "Halls of Aman" here in
Ainulindale C, and this was changed to "fields of Arda" in
D.
BoT-03.5: I think Findegil's suggestion to use the Lost Tales passage here is good. However, I would then delete the phrase "lest Melkor should hinder the fulfilment of their labour for ever, and the Earth should wither ere it flowered", since exactly this motivation is made clear immediately after in the quote by Manwe:
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But Manwë was the brother of Melkor in the mind of Ilúvatar, and he was the chief instrument of the second Theme that Ilúvatar had raised up against the discord of Melkor; and he called unto himself others of his kin and many spirits both greater and less, and they went down into the fields of Arda and aided Manwë, BoT-03.5 {lest Melkor should hinder the fulfilment of their labour for ever, and the Earth should wither ere it flowered}. <LT Then when all these great spirits were gathered together within the confines of the world Manwe spake to them, saying: "Lo now! How may the Valar abide in this fair place or be happy and rejoice in its goodness, if {Melko}[Melkor] be suffered to destroy it, and make fire and turmoil, so that we have nowhere to sit in peace, nor may the earth blossom or the designs of Ilúvatar come to being?"
Then all the Valar were angered with {Melko}[Melkor], and>{And} Manwë said unto Melkor: 'This kingdom thou shalt not take for thine own, wrongfully, for many others have laboured here {no less than thou}.' And there was strife between Melkor and the Valar …
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BoT-08: It's true that the name of the war is given here, so I'm fine with keeping it.
BoT-13b: OK, I agree that there are some small details here that were missed in my version, and I think your suggestion is good.
BoT-13.7, -13.8: I see the appeal of the idea here, but for me taking the words of Melko and giving them to Ulmo is going a bit too far.