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Old 07-13-2007, 12:53 PM   #48
Thenamir
Spectre of Capitalism
 
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Battling evil bureaucrats at Zeta Aquilae
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Shock! Phantom Hints At Mod Corruption!

Sports Opinion and Editorial, by Thenamir

It should come as no surprise that The Phantom, having screamed "cheat" far too many times, is finding no one paying attention any longer. After working himself into a corner with predictions of Hobbit losses, he seeks to save face as a football commentator with pernicious feats of legerdemain, bringing into question the integrity of Team Shire, the referees, the Tournament Administration, and finally, finding no traction for his spurious claims, the entire governmental system of the Barrow-Downs.

Perhaps The Phantom has fallen victim to the same prejudicial attitude that brought down the known corruption of the Mordorian regime, "who did not know them well and looked no further than their bellies and their well-fed faces." Could it be that the heretofore well-researched and reasonable analysis of The Phantom has, just for once, been mistaken? These accidental lapses are common to us all. We are none the worse for admitting our mistakes freely and moving on -- we can even earn a measure of respect for being honest and sincere about our shortcomings.

But The Phantom has chosen a different tack. Sloppy Pre-Cup analysis has resulted in bad forecasting -- Garbage In, Garbage Out -- and the usually reliable Phantom has been caught with his pants down. But rather than pull them back up and chuckle over the quality of his suspenders, he shuffles around with his trousers around his ankles insisting that his pasty white thighs are not really exposed, but rather that there is a conspiracy afoot to promote kilts over pants.

And all this without one shred of evidence. Though it is still early in the running, Frodo is only one goal off from taking the Yellow Boots trophy, Samwise and Lobelia are quitting themselves well, and the avid golfer Bullroarer Took headed one in against the might of Gondor. When all is said and done, the Phantom's accusations are just that -- phantoms, without form or substance, spectres which cannot be grasped, both elusive...and delusive.

Post Scriptum: One wonders how a phantom, himself an apparition or spectre without material substance manages to score a goal, as he has for the Downs team. If the hobbits cannot generate enough "kinetic energy" to drive a ball past a goalkeeper, then it is difficult indeed to understand how a ghost can do so.
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The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.
~~ Marcus Aurelius
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