Getting calls by someone who had the wrong (or mis-dialed) phone number. Normally, I think I would assign these situations to Mordor because it's annoying getting calls from people who had the wrong number. It takes all of about 3 seconds to figure out "sorry, you have the wrong number." But yesterday...oh my, best wrong number situation ever. And I'm not using "ever" as a hyperbole.
(Names are changed to protect identities...don't want anyone calling these people
)
I have a voicemail, and it's an unknown number, but the area is from where I grew up in Ohio. So, it made complete sense to me that I could get calls from this area, even though I've moved to Boston.
Voicemail: "Hi John, this is Rick Sharkey, call me back when you're free, I'm looking forward at the chance to talk to you."
My policy on unknown phonecalls is not to call back unless there's a voicemail and that voicemail sounds important. Which to me, this did, wondering is this a job offer, or something? Curious and important enough that I should call back...so I did.
Caller: "Hello, how are you doing?"
Me: "I'm pretty good." (that awkward pause as I wait for this guy to tell me why he called/was anxious to get to talk to me)
Caller: "Oh...pretty good, huh?" (the bitter sarcasm definitely coming through)
Me: "Uh...yes...how can I help you?"
Caller: "Maybe you can explain why ___ (insert girl's first name) came to me crying and upset yesterday?"
At this time, I will break from the story to say, the girl's name he gave was someone who I graduated with and was dating up until November. So, needless to say, my brain goes to concern/panic mode, since I still talk to this girl regularly. In fact, talked to her several times through this week, and not once was she crying or upset. This news came as a shock and now I'm wondering...is this guy...a friend? family?
Me: "I don't know, she hasn't said anything to me? What's wrong?"
Caller: "I think you do know. She said she told you to stop seeing this other girl on the side a year ago, but you haven't stopped. Have you?"
Still it's not registering with me that this is possibly a big, giant mix-up. As now I go further back in time, since I've known the girl I dated since grade school and I try to remember was there ever a time she told me specifically not to date another person? Was she ever upset if I was dating someone else about a year ago? I stumble around some more with this caller trying to figure out why the heck my ex is upset, and what that has to do with me. Until finally the realization comes in...that I'm not dating anyone and my ex would know this because I still talk to her regularly. So, I tell the caller:
"First off, I'm not seeing anyone at the moment and secondly I don't know why she'd be upset even if I was."
Caller: "Because she's your wife for christ sake!"
Now it did hit ME that this was a giant, confused mix up, and I start cracking up with laughter, but the caller is confused now, and gets angry with me as he thought I found accusations of adultery funny.
Caller: "What? Proud of yourself you are...you think this is funny?"
Me: "No, no..see. I am a John and I was dating an ____ up until relatively recently. And she's a very good friend who I talk to frequently, so this whole time I thought you were a friend or family of hers and I was concerned that she was upset with me but didn't tell me...anyway, I've never been married and I'm single now, so I think there's a mistake here."
I thought after the "she's your wife" this might have been a prank call too, but it absolutely wasn't. As he figured out that yes indeed it was a case of mis-dialing (and since I still have my Ohio cell number it was a case of hitting 1 number wrong). He then went to legit "Oh my, oh man...oh wow I feel like an idiot. I'm so so very sorry" apologies."
I said: "Don't be. Good luck finding the right John because he needs to stop cheating on his wife."
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And that is why I assign this case of a wrong phone number to Orthanc. The most remarkable and hilarious set of coincidences which had me and another guy in a 5+minute tango, thinking I had a peeved off ex who went crying to a friend and this man who thought he was confronting a cheating husband.