[Diamond18]

Vanima hath spoken, and she sayeth, "You shall be merry or else!" [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

So here goes...my imagination levels are really low right now (just look at my Thranduil and Balrog messages, blech...) But I'll try.

(Galadriel): "Hello, this is the Lady of the Wood, who may or may not be an Elvenqueen. If you view me as not a queen, press one and leave a simple message. If you think I am a queen, press two, and I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreaful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and DESPAIR! Ahem...thank you and your call is important to me."

(Éomer): "You have reached Riddermark. If you are a Man, press one. If you are an Elf, press two. If you are a Dwarf, press three. If you are a Man, and Elf and a Dwarf, what business do you have calling Riddermark?"

(Faramir): "Hello, this is Faramir, Steward of Gondor, Prince of Ithilien and Lord of Emyn Muil. (Éowyn wanted me to say all that...I really don't care about that sort of thing...) Anyway, this is my automated wisdom line. If you would like to learn the history of Númenor, press one. If you would like to listen to a reflective dissertation on war and peace, press two. If you would like to hear about my dreams, press three. If you are feeling suicidal because of unrequited love, press four to hear all about my own tender love story. If you are on a dangerous quest and are in need of advice, press five and whatever you do, don't go near Cirith Ungol! If you simply want to leave me a message, hold until after the beep. (I really do recommened pressing 1, 2, 3 or 4, though)."