[Maédhros]

Commentaries on the Changes:
{} = Material to be deleted.
[] = Material to be inserted.

General changes such as Melko for Morgoth, has been already done in this text.
Changes are in bold with their reference for ease of formatting.
I used numbers to distinguish the paragraphs from each other for ease of reference.

Specific Changes:

FG-TG-04
{, and it was made of Gnome-steel overlaid with silver; but his helm was adorned with a device of metals and jewels like to two swan-wings, one on either side, and a swan's wing was wrought on his shield}
Use previously

I'm not sure what this change means, so I ommited it, in this draft.

FG-M-09

Is already taken into account because it's only the use of General changes such as Melko to Morgoth, Noldoli to Noldor, etc.

FG-M-02

In this one, I have deleted the {sons of the} Orcs part, it seems out of touch with the legendarium.

FG-M-05

/*Q30 Tidings Turgon heard of {Thorndor} [Thorondor] concerning the slaying of Dior, Thingol's heir, and thereafter he shut his ear to word of the woes without; and he vowed to march never at the side of any son of Fëanor; and his folk he forbade ever to pass the leaguer of the hills*/ but seeing that the leaguer of spies hath grown thinner Turgon dwelleth more at ease and in less fear.

I would rather use the Q77 instead of the Quenta. In the Quenta, there is no mention of the Fall of Doriath nor of Nargothrond.

Tidings were brought by Thorondor Lord of Eagles of the fall of Nargothrond, and after of the slaying of Thingol and of Dior his heir, and of the ruin of Doriath; but Turgon shut his ear to word of the woes without, and vowed to march never at the side of any son of Fëanor; and his people he forbade ever to pass the leaguer of the hills.

lindil and Aiwendil Suggestions:

This whole section feels wrong. More specifically, there is not the same sense of vigilance we find in UT as he enters through the gates. There is a boasting that seems out of place for any of the latter elves, and the reference to the gondolindrim guarding the encircling mntns themselves w/ no mention of the eagles except that some had better eyesight!

I agree with Aiwendil that the boasting is not necessarily out of order.
I really liked your suggestion that the eagles are missing and that Aiwendil's suggestion is a good one:
FG-TG-03.5

[And no spy or creature out of Angband could come there because of the vigilance of the eagles, and Morgoth was thwarted in the fulfillment of his designs.]

Not yet approved.
I agree with lindil about the axe comment and to abandon the suit of armor:

FG-TG-04.5
Upon a time the king caused his most cunning artificers to fashion {a suit of armour} [an axe] for Tuor as a great gift, {and it was made of {Gnome} Noldor-steel overlaid with silver; but his helm was adorned with a device of metals and jewels like to two swan-wings, one on either side, and a swan's wing was wrought on his shield; but he carried an axe rather than a sword,} and this in the speech of the {Gondolindrim} [Sindar] he named Dramborleg, for its buffet stunned and its edge clove all armour.

Originally posted by lindil
I would like to graft on from the Hobbit, a bit about the Gondolin metalsmith’s ‘glowing blue in the presence of Orcs’ metallurical effects. If JRRT went into such detail about the armor we are now replacing with an axe, the least we can do is detail it as much as our principles allow. Any objections?

I would hesitate to use the glowing feature on the axe of Tuor.

Originally posted by lindil
I like keeping the original armor better and deleting the early reference but keeping the early reference alows for keeping the winged helm, but I suppose we can just eliminate the mentioning on the wings.

Hmmmmm. I rather we keep the original reference and eliminate the mention of the wings or say that Turgon gave to Tuor a gift of an axe and a helm.

FG-TG-05.5
Now came days when Tuor had dwelt {among the {Gondothlim}[in Gondolin] {many years}[for seven years]. Long had he known and cherished a love for the king's daughter,

I agree with you on this lindil. I think we should use the Tale of Years in the War of the Jewels to be more precise. The Q77 has that too.

But so high did Tuor stand in the favour of the King that when he had dwelt there for seven years Turgon did not refuse him even the hand of his daughter

Originally posted by lindil
We also have in the Grey Annal entry that after Turgon decides against heeding the words of Ulmo “Tuor was held in honour, for his kindreds sake”. If it has not been done so, this would be a nice addition to the earlier mention of Turgon ‘bidding’ him to stay.

I agree with this too:

FG-TG-01.5
But Turgon, who knew that Tuor, mortal as he was, had the favour of the Valar, marking his stout glance and the power of his voice sent to him and bade him dwell in Gondolin and be in his favour, and abide even within the royal halls if he would, [for Tuor was held in honour, for his kindreds sake]. GA.

[ July 20, 2003: Message edited by: Maédhros ]