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I don't mean to sound too insolent (as so far it has been the two of you that have done all the hard work for this section) - but do you think that perhaps we should discuss one subsection at a time, as we did for FoG? That would keep matters from getting too confusing, and would certainly make it easier for me to jump in and comment when I have a free moment (which is I think something that should happen tomorrow or Friday).
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That is fine by me. Actually in the first part, I'm in almost complete agreement with what Findegil has done. I have only several little points here and there but nothing major in terms of the story. I think that you being the more apt in your ways with the english language would perhaps smooth out some of the ackwardness of parts of the text.
There are things that I think that you might make observations, so I'm glad to hear your opinons.