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Sounds okay to me, short of the lost daughter. That feels to me like it approaches bathos, if you know what I mean. (shrug) Of course, you could include such a thing but make Marenil not quite so emotionally expressive; stiff upper lip and all that, if you take my meaning; shrug it off as a thing of the past, blithely deny any real concerns, etc. But he's your character. Just suggestions. Sometimes, the best thing we can do for a character is avoid the temptation to do the very first thing that comes into our head, and wait for that secret second thing which is actually better if we give ourselves half a chance.
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