Formendacil
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Frodo is leaving for the Havens, we have a voiceover by him that it is four or five years, I forget which, since some event at the start of his quest. I apologise for the vagueness of the quote, but it was very clearly TOO much time. Frodo left in 1421. His quest occurred in 1418-1419. It wasn't four years since ANYTHING in his life. Let alone five
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It was actually what Frodo mentions to Sam at his desk. 'It's been 4 years, etc'. I put it to you that the ONLY reason PJ did this is as a favour to Sean Astin, as Sean greets his real daughter at the end of the film, whereas in the book, Sam is only greeted by Rosie and his first (baby) daughter, Elanor.
About the Time factor, the way we have Frodo have to hunt deep down into his treasure chest to find the ring for Gandalf seems to be the way the director shows the passage of time from Gandalf leaving and coming back. Of course this isn't 17 years, but I think this is his nod to it being a 'long' time.
lord of dor-lomin, your point re Merry. totally agree, but to me Im able to pretend in most cases that what doesn't happen in the film that SHOULD do, does happen. i.e. I can marry both film and book together whilst watching the film, so when I watch the WK scene, Merry gets the Witch King with the sword that Tom gave him.