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Old 12-08-2004, 08:40 AM   #5
Findegil
King's Writer
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,694
Findegil is a guest of Tom Bombadil.
§33 kin -> following: kin of Morogth in the old concept of Orcs called "children of Morogth" is acceptable, nut know I find it very odd, after eben Gothmog as his son was scipt. Maybe my understanding of "kin" is to limited.

§35 I thought about that myself, and if we will include it, I would also retain the "wild growth of his hair" since it would so nicely backflash to Túrin and Saeros and I can't see a problem when a warrior returns from the border fight that he is uncempt and thereby unrecognisable - but as yet we have meet Mablung in Doriath ever at Menegroth. He was the cheife thane of Thingol and not the head of the border forces (that was Beleg as long as he lived). So in my view it was dubious if we would not introduce a change in the role of Mablung, coming back to the king (obviously from the broder fights in the circumstances of the later Doriath). But I might be overinterpreting in this. And I am open for the addition, if you and Aiwendil think it is okay.

§37a these hunt -> the hunt: I wanted to make the back reference that it is more clear. But when when you find it odd, we can as well takt "the".

§37b the name Nielthi: I am fare from an expert in Sindarin, I do not even no the basics, so I don't know. If the name is not use able it is easy to make her an anonymous maiden of Melian.

§37b Melians comment on the unwoven web: Since we have taken Q30 as a basis here, we have the girdle removed while Melian is in Menegroth. I considered taht sentence for delition, but I could find no reason why Melian would not answer in such a pictures way when forbonding was heavy on her. But the "rat that gnaws the threads" does hint at the treacherous elfs of TN, therefore the change. You yourself suggested, that she lost control over the girdle because here conection to it was through Thingol, thus I found the "riven thread" a fitting replacment.

Quote:
On another note, I think that it is interesting the way you attributed the deeds of Ufedhin to the dwarves. I wonder if Aiwendil will be ok with that. I am.
You mean the parts in dialogues that I change from Ufedhin. Well, if we disire to have these dialogous include, and I do disire it, we have to give his speech to someone else, and anonymous dwarves seemed to fit best. In Menegroth I found it even more fitting to have someone else to encounter Melian first. As it seemed Naugladur never was in the formost front of any fight. And after the death of Thingol he did play first with his dead foe before he moved on to the plundering of Menegroth. But I anticipate your doubts about Aiwendil and this treatment of the material. And I have no doubts that he will rise some valid points against them that we have not thought of.

Respectfully
Findegil
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