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Old 11-24-2010, 09:46 AM   #41
Findegil
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Posted by Aiwendil:
Quote:
First, a general comment on the text: There is a lot of jumping back and forth between QS and GA here. This is to be expected, given the textual situation, and I think that for the most part it is skilfully done; but I worry a little that in trying to provide as complete and detailed an account as we can, we may be slicing up Tolkien's prose too indiscriminately. In particular, I think we must be careful not to use additions from other sources merely for the sake of added verbiage, but only when some substantive detail is gained. I will try to point out specific places where this is an issue.
Agreed. In reading what I did in this chapter I observed my self that I have only technically tried to minimise the amount of editorial interference. That led exactly to the results you describe.

RB-DB-01: Agreed we take your suggestion.

RB-DB-06.5: 134 ... {Third}[Fourth]: Good catch.

RB-DB-07: I thought it might be helpful because the last time we have heard of Glaurung before, we were told that he was not yet full grown. But the addition might be considered superficial.

137: In this case I do not agree fully to your suggestion. In the first sentence it is better to take up GA fully, but I would still keep the first half sentence from the QS. And in the rest of the paragraph I think we loss a good deal of information by only taking one source.
Quote:
137 The sons of {Finrod}[Finarfin] bore most heavily the brunt of the assaultRB-DB-08 {, and Angrod and Egnor were slain; and Bregolas son of Bor, who was lord of that house of Men after his father's death, was slain beside them. In that battle King Inglor Felagund was }. <GA In the assault upon the defences of Dorthonion Angrod and {Egnor}[Aegnor], sons of {Finrod}[Finarfin], fell, and with them Bregolas RB-DB-09 <LQ2 , son of Bregor, who was lord of the house of Bor after Boromir his father's death> was slain and a great part of the warriors of Beor's folk. But Barahir his brother was in the fighting further westward nigh the passes of Sirion. There King {Inglor}[Finrod] Felagund, hastening from the south, was defeated> and cut off from his folk and surrounded RB-DB-12 { by the Orcs}<GA with small company in the Fen of Serech> RB-DB-13 <LQ1 betwixt Mithrim and Dorthonion>, and he would have been slain or taken, but Barahir son of {Bor}[Bregor] came up with his men and rescued him, and made a wall of spears about him; and they cut their way out of the battle with great loss. Thus Felagund escaped RB-DB-14 {and went south to Nargothrond, his deep fortress prepared against the evil day}; {but}[and] he swore an oath of abiding friendship and aid in every need unto Barahir and all his kin and seed, and in token of his vow he gave to Barahir his ring RB-DB-15 <GA , an heirloom of his house>. RB-DB-16 <GA Then {Inglor}[Finrod] went south to Nargothrond RB-DB-17 <QS , his deep fortress prepared against the evil day>, but Barahir returned to Dorthonion to save what he could of the people of Bor.>
141: Changed.

RD-DB-24: Agreed, we take the addition out.

{Damrod and Diriel}[Amros] it will be.

143: I did not observe the chronology issue. But I am reluctant to skip all that nice interpretation why Tol Sirion was the last fortress attacked in that battle. Also I see some info in QS that is missing in GA. Some examples in detail (No. are take from the text below):
RD-DB-25.5: That Glaurung was shy of the River Sirion at this time is a motive not given eles were. Interesting that he is again in the eastern Battle in the Nirneath.
RD-DB-28: That Sauron was in command of Balrogs in this battle doth strength his position among the host of Morogth.
RD-DB-31.5: Well, this is new. I wish to keep the word 'necromancy'. As fare as I remember this is the only real connection you will get while reading the story of Middle-Earth chronological between Gorthaur of Beleriand and the Necromancer of the Mirkwood in The Hobbit. Even so the change might be called stylistic, I think it is important because we will have to live with The Hobbit as it is. I think connections should be strength if we can.
After RD-DB-32: That the final victory came by assault and not by siege is important, since it makes Orodreth escape much more feasible.
After RD-DB-33: The 'dark cloud of fear' is again a nice tie to the siege of Minas Tirith in The Lord of Rings. I think that should not be lost.
Within RD-DB-34: Orodreth is no longer Finrods brother, but his nephew. But I find 'Steward' the more fitting connection here.
RD-DB-35: Why should we loss this bridge to the future? Readers will remember this easier if we provide them with the information that it has influence in the future narrative. Now you could say that again I propose a stylistic change. But I think that I rather argue against a change with reasons of style. The difference is, that in Annals I would not expect such a style, in a 'Quenta' it is rather classical. And Tolkien is using this often in The Silmarillion, The Hobbit, and The Lord of the Rings.
Thus I would edit:
Quote:
143 For [b]RB-DB-25.5[B] {nearly two years}[for some time] the {Gnomes}[Noldor] still defended the west pass about the sources of Sirion, for the power of Ulmo was in that water, and {Golmund}[Glaurung] would not yet adventure that way, for the time of his full strength was not come; and {Minnastirith}[Minas Tirith] withstood the Orcs. But RB-DB-26 {at length after the fall of Fingolfin, which is told hereafter, }<GA Morgoth learning now of the defeat of the sons of {Finrod}[Finrafin], and the scattering of the people of Fanor, hemmed Fingolfin in Hithlum and sent a great force to attack the westward pass into the vales of Sirion>. Sauron came against Orodreth, the warden of the tower, with RB-DB-28 {a host of} Balrogs. RB-DB-29 {Sauron was the chief servant of the evil Vala, whom he had suborned to his service in Valinor from among the people of the Gods. He was become a wizard of dreadful power, master of necromancy,}<LQ1 Now Sauron, whom the RB-DB-30 {Noldor call Gorthu}<LQ2 Sindar called Gorthaur>, was the chief servant of Morgoth. RB-DB-31 {In Valinor he had dwelt among the people of the gods, but there Morgoth had drawn him to evil and to his service. }He was become now a sorcerer of dreadful power, master RB-DB-31.5 <moved from above of necromancy,> of shadows and of ghosts,> foul in wisdom, cruel in strength, mis-shaping what he touched, twisting what he ruled, lord of werewolves: his dominion was torment. RB-DB-32 <GA {and}And his hosts broke through and besieged the fortress of {Inglor}[Finrod], {Minnas-tirith}[Minas-Tirith] upon Tolsirion.> He took {Minnastirith}[Minas Tirith] by assault, RB-DB-33 {the tower of {Inglor}[Finrod] upon the isle of Sirion,}<GA after bitter fighting> for a dark cloud of fear fell upon those that defended it; RB-DB-34 <GA and Orodreth the {brother of Inglor}[Steward of Finrod] who held it was driven out. There he would have been slain, but {Celegorn}[Celegorm] and Curufin came up with their riders, and such other force as they could gather, and they fought fiercely, and stemmed the tide for a while; and thus Orodreth escaped and came to Nargothrond. Thither also at last before the might of Sauron fled {Celegorn}[Celegorm] and Curufin with small following; and they were harboured in Nargothrond gratefully, and the griefs that lay between the houses of Finrod and Fanor were for that time forgotten. RB-DB-35 <moved from aboveThus it came to pass that the people of {Celegorn}[Celegorm] swelled the strength of Felagund, but it would have been better, as after was seen, if they had remained in the East among their own kin.>
Respectfuly
Findegil
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