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Old 06-06-2004, 02:37 PM   #58
Madhros
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White Tree

On the New proposed VE-13.01
Quote:
Of the march of the host of Enw to the North little is said in any tale; for in his armies went none of those Elves who had dwelt and suffered in the Hither Lands, and who made the histories of those days that still are known; and tidings of these things they learned long afterward from their kinsfolk, the Light-elves in Valinor. <AB2 {Here the} The host of [Enw] was seen shining upon the sea afar, [and the challenge of his trumpets] {and the noise of his trumpets} rang over the waves and echoed in the western woods. Thereafter was fought the battle of [Eglarest], where [Ingwion] son of Ingw, prince of all the Elves, made a landing, and drove the Orcs from the shore.> But at the last Enw came up out of the West, {and the challenge of his trumpets filled the sky}; and he summoned unto him all Elves and Men from Hithlum unto the East; and Beleriand was ablaze with the glory of{ his} arms, for the host of the {Gods}[Valar] were arrayed in forms of Valinor, and the mountains rang beneath their feet.
I would move up and the challenge of his trumpets, rather than use both times that the hosts of Enw used their trumpets as proposed. It seems very odd to me that they used their trumpets when they were at the sea and when they landed.

Quote:
<AB2 Great war came now into Beleriand, and [Enw] drove the Orcs and Balrogs before him; and he camped beside Sirion, and his tents were as snow upon the field>. <FG {Did not even after the days of Tuor Noldorin and his Eldar come}[the Noldor came to Nan-Tathren]{there seeking for Dor Lomin and the hidden river and the caverns of the Gnomes'-imprisonment; yet thus nigh to their quest's end were like to abandon it?} Indeed sleeping and {dancing here}camping there{, and making fair music of river sounds and the murmur of grass, and weaving rich fabrics of gossamer and the feathers of winged insects}, they were whelmed by the goblins sped by [Morgoth] from the [Ironhills] and {Noldorin}[only a few] made bare escape thence.>
This is where I begin to have problems. the Noldor came to Nan-Tathren. Who are these Noldor? I see the break to great in having the tents of Enw in Sirion and then we jump inmidiately to the Noldor came to Nan-Tathren.

Quote:
<E& A Army {of Tulkas }/camped /at the Pools of Twilight, the><FG great heaths and morasses above the Land of Willows, {and Voronwe knew not those regions. Now here}[where] goes Sirion a very great way under earth, diving at the great cavern of the Tumultuous Winds, but running clear again above the {Pools of Twilight}[Lands of Willows], even {where}there {Tulkas' after}[they] fought with {Melko's self}[Morgoths Balrogs]>then <AB2 [Enw] crossed Sirion and the hosts of Morgoth were driven as leaves, and the Balrogs were utterly destroyed><BT, save some few that fled and hid themselves in caverns inaccessible at the roots of the earth>,< AB1 and Morgoth[s army] fled to Angband pursued by the hosts of [Enw].><BT There was marshalled the whole power of the Throne of Morgoth, and it had become great beyond count, so that Dor-na-Fauglith could not contain it, and all the North was aflame with war. But it availed not.{} The uncounted legions of the Orcs perished like straw in a great fire, or were swept like shrivelled leaves before a burning wind. Few remained to trouble the world for long years after.>
This gets messy for me here. The transitions from one text to the other seem very abrupt to me. Let me see if I'm getting this straight:
An Army camped at the Pools of Twilight, the great heaths and morasses above the Land of Willows, [where] goes Sirion a very great way under earth, diving at the great cavern of the Tumultuous Winds, but running clear again above the {Pools of Twilight}[Lands of Willows] even there [they] fought with [Morgoths Balrogs]>then <AB2 [Enw] crossed Sirion and the hosts of Morgoth were driven as leaves, and the Balrogs were utterly destroyed><BT, save some few that fled and hid themselves in caverns inaccessible at the roots of the earth>,< AB1 and Morgoth[s army] fled to Angband pursued by the hosts of [Enw].><BT There was marshalled the whole power of the Throne of Morgoth, and it had become great beyond count, so that Dor-na-Fauglith could not contain it, and all the North was aflame with war. But it availed not.

The part that I put in bold seems very odd looking to me.
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