The four hobbits as the Jamaican Bobsled Team and Bilbo as Coach Blitzer in "Cool Runnings."
(The team is standing in front of their first "bobsled," deciding who sits where.)
Bilbo: (Chicago accent) Okay, Pippin, you sit there in the middle..
Pippin: (grins proudly and sits down)
Bilbo: Merry, you sit there.. (points to the spot behind Pippin)
Merry: (growls and begrudgingly climbs in) 'Ey, don't touch me! Don't touch me!
Bilbo: (thinks) This is going to be a very loooooong training session... (turns to Sam) Now, you're the brake man.
Sam: (Jamaiican accent) Da brake man?! But I'm da driver!!
Bilbo: NO, you're the BRAKE MAN.
Sam: I'm da best push-cart driva in all of Jamaiica! I MUST drive! (leans face in closer) Do ya DIG where A'm comin' from?
Bilbo: Yeah, I dig where you're coming from.
Sam: GOOD.
Bilbo: Now dig where I'm coming from. (blah blah blah) You see, Sam, the driver has to work harder than anybody! He is the first to come to practice, and he is the last to leave. He is ALSO responsible for the other sledders' lives. NOW, do YOU want that responsibility, Sam?
Sam: I say Frodo should be the driver.
Bilbo: (grins at a apprehensive-looking Frodo) So do I, Sam. So do I.
Sam: (climbs into the brake man seat) Hmmm...cozy!
And then right before the competition...
Sam: (to Merry) Do you want to kiss my lucky egg?
Merry: I ain't kissin' no egg!!
Sam: Hmph. (kisses his yellow egg)
(laughs..)
__________________
Merry shrugged his shoulders. “It could be a love triangle. Like about a week ago, I was in love with Angela AND Estella, but then I decided to break it off with Angela…” He sighed dreamily, but Pippin lifted an eyebrow. “Angela thought your name was Timothy,” he pointed out innocently, and Merry glared at him. “It could happen to anybody…” - Excerpt from my "Three Blind Spies" story (see fanfic section)
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