Oh I'm sure that the husbands got more than the occasional wink...
It makes a great deal of sense that one could not be a hunter and a healer at the same time. The duty of a hunter or a warrior is to slay, but the duty of a healer is to heal, and keep alive. Reconciling duties like that would probably tear one apart.
What you said about Elrond got me to thinking... what if the hunter/healer concept is actually a description of the "phases" that an Elf goes through? When they're relatively young, Elves could have the mindset of hunters. They could be more ready for battle, leading armies, etc. After they grow older, have children, become "wiser," the healer part of them could come out more, and they would give up their hunting identity, and become a healer. After all, Galadriel was a tomboy in her youth, and she later became one of the Wise. Elrond was a warrior in his youth, and he became one of the greatest Elves.