RP-SL-12: I am suggesting keeping the rest of the sentence. So it would look like this:
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RP-SL-11 <Of the Rings of Power But the Elves fled from him; and three of their rings they saved, and bore them away, and hid them. RP-SL-12 {Now these were the Three that had last been made ...
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RP-SL-21: The only reason we would need an
also in the phrase 'also marked the end' then we must have referred to something else being ended, but the last paragraph we discuss the denuding of the lands around the Gwathlo, not the ending of anything. Therefore we do not need to include an 'also.' It doesn't hurt anything, but it is not required.
RP-SL-35: Perfect!
RP-SL-40 to
45: This is perfect, but I would only say that to keep the phrase "The Silvan Elves were Middle Elves according to the Númenórean classification" we must have already discussed the Númenórean classifications of peoples. Therefore we must either insert this classification into an earlier chapter, or change this sentence. Personally, I think we should remove that bit, since on the Middle Men discussion, it is said that the terms arose at the time of Ar-Adûnakhôr, and relates to the nature of the divide of the Faithful and the King's Men, which we have not yet reached in the narrative. Therefore I would say we should slightly edit it thus:
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The Silvan Elves were RP-SL-45.5 {Middle Elves according to the Númenórean classification, though} unknown to the Atani until later days: for they were like ....
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RP-SL-47: Yeah I think the reader can puzzle it out for themselves, and changing this is unnecessary.