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It sounds like the premise for a bad TV sit-com. You could title it "Raising the Precious" and have Smeagol as the obnoxious next-door neighbor kid, and have Saruman as the cranky old neighbor who always says things like, "You impudent hobbits, stay off my lawn!"
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.
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