[Aiwendil]

These are my comments on some small things in Antoine's text, originally posted in the private forum. I think they should be here instead, for open discussion. That text is in agreement with our emendations at almost every point, and I think we should use it as a provisional draft. These comments are just on the Fall of Gondolin section; I'll have to go back and look at the UT section again, though that should, of course, not present very many problems.

Miscellaneous comments

I've gone through the Fall of Gondolin section and made some notes:

FG-TG-04

{, and it was made of Gnome-steel overlaid with silver; but his helm was adorned with a device of metals and jewels like to two swan-wings, one on either side, and a swan's wing was wrought on his shield}

Use previously

This is an addition not found in our original emendations. Where do you intend now to place this description? Is the thinking that this helm is the one found by him at Vinyamar?

FG-TG-11

In these days came to pass the fulfilment of the time of the desire of the Valar and the hope of [the] Eldalië

This is really a stylistic change. While it's obviously a very minor point, I would prefer to leave out the article for the present.

FG-M-04

{Now it so chanced that not long after Meglin went to the hills for the getting of ore, … ... and he durst never again wander amid the mines lest he again fall in with the Orcs and be bidden once more to the terrors of the halls of darkness.}

Use later

This appears to be another change not found in our original emendations. I must admit that I can't see any reason to change the placement of this passage. What was your reasoning?

FG-C-03

Then said the king: [']Great is the fall of Gondolin['], and men shuddered, for such were the words of {Annon the prophet of old} [the prophecy of the North][,saying: ] <BoLT1'Great is the fall of the hidden rock!'>; but Tuor speaking wildly for ruth and love of the king cried: …

I am definitely inclined not to use this, but rather to go with jallanite's original revision. I think that this change, while very clever, is too fan-fictionalized for this project.

Here might be inserted a slightly modified version of the Fragment of the alliterative Lay of Eärendel found in The Lays of Beleriand (HoME 3), II Poems Early Abandoned. This would appear as a retrospective summary of the story from the actual fall to this point in the tale.

I'm personally inclined not to insert this. That fragment was intended as the beginning of an alliterative Lay of Earendil, not an independent song; and though it works as an independent song, I don't think we have the authority to use it.

[ August 23, 2002: Message edited by: Aiwendil ]