Local Mental Hospital Puts on Production of "Lord of the Rings"
From right to left: Frodo, Sam, Pippin & Merry
Residents at St. Merisu's Home for the Mentally Ill began their first annual production of "The Lord of the Rings" on Monday. The play, based on the book by J.R.R. Tolkien and adapted for stage by Little Larry, runs for half an hour and features a talentless but colorful cast.
"The play is entirely run by the patients," said Dr. White in recent interview. "It's not only the acting. From the writing, to the stage design, props, and costuming, we left it all up to them."
And it shows, precious, yes it does. The entire set consists of a single backdrop painted in a checkerboard design, a card table covered by an Elmo print sheet, and a bucket of pebbles. The play meanders from beginning to end, and members of the cast routinely forget their lines, though it is often difficult to tell since the lines were written by the alter-ego of a paranoid schizophrenic. The costumes were designed by Vera Wang.
At one point in the play the director ran on stage screaming that "All is wrong! All is ruined! All is finishéd!" until a team of orderlies wrestled him off the stage.
Tolkien purists have protested the production, saying the script takes gross and unnecessary liberties with the source material. "For instance," said renowned Tolkien enthusiast Christopher Lee, "there is no land called 'Munchkin Land' in Lord of the Rings. This is not the only incident where Mr. Larry seems to have confused Tolkien's work with The Wizard of Oz, such as the scene near Mt. Doom where Frodo and 'Toto' are attacked by Flying Monkeys.
"Furthermore, it was very unpleasant when the Ents rushed into the audience and beat people with sticks."
When asked to comment, Little Larry responded, "You can't be totally faithful to such a long book when you're limited to a half hour production. Would you like to see my magic sword? It's made out of plastic bottle caps."
The play runs through the end of the week.