[Nogrod]

”Perhaps you are able to learn.”

Hadith was startled by the sudden whisper as he hadn’t noticed Johari slipping to his side. But he was also happy to hear that familiar voice. He still didn’t know what he should think about her but she was one of those few he had gotten to any contact with and thence her presence felt good to him. Although what she said about learning felt really confusing and distracted his mind. Able to learn… what? What does she mean?

"Sorry about the last time... I was a bit... well, confused and in pain. I'm not sure I remember what was it I said but it clearly annoyed you, didn't it? I'm sorry about that." Hadith managed to utter after a short silence. He was still ashamed of his conduct when they last met.

Johari nodded slightly, a strange expression on her face. If he didn't remember it well... that was good. She half wanted to forget the exchange herself.

"Forget it", she said sharply.

An awkward silence fell over them for a short while. In the end Hadith braved himself to address Johari a new.

"You're alright then?"

"Clearly." Johari answered bluntly but her voice had lost some of its bite.

"Did you kill anyone?..." Hadith asked troubled by his own thoughts on the matter. "I mean like a day or two ago - I tend to meddle with the days - I had never killed anyone, only seen people killed. But now I've done it myself, twice. It feels awful and strange, like it's not me I'm looking at when the images come to my dreams... and still I wish the orcs should be killed before we go on."

With those words, Johari found herself marvelling at Hadith's basic humanity. When had she lost her own? She had felt no guilt at the slaver she had killed, nor in her desire to kill the Orcs.

"Yes, Hadith, I killed a man in the battle." She paused, then felt as if the next words were ripped from her throat. "I felt... feel... no guilt."

"You don't? You don't feel anything? How? Those images do not come to your dreams?" Hadith's voice was raising as he was honestly perplexed and started wondering whether he was an odd one among these people.

All-but-forgotten memories seemed to niggle at Johari's mind.

"No!" she replied sharply.

Their conversation, and in particular that vehement outburst, was beginning to draw glances from those nearby, and she lowered her voice again. "No." And what did that make her?

Hadith was confused once again but realised from Johari’s behaviour that they were watched now by people near them in the crowd. As he turned to look at Beloan he felt like a little boy who had gotten caught of something that is embarrassing. He then falled to himself, partly because of the glances but partly because Dorran was speaking and Hadith was also eager to hear what he had to say.

But he couldn't concetrate on Dorran's speech. So he turned back to Johari once more.

"I was worried about you during the fight... Were you..."

Afraid of where this question was going and the answers it might invite, she cut him off. "I was fine, Hadith, and so are you, now. It's over."

Johari had been becoming increasingly uncomfortable with this conversation, whether Hadith realised it at the moment or not. Hadith did sense an aura of reservation in Johari as well and didn’t try to press the question either.

Hadith frowned almost imperceptibly and turned back to listen to Dorran. His head was just too busy to really understand what Dorran was saying. Either she cares about me or then she plays me a fool… which I am… But why does she play this game on me? And what is over? The fight and the death is over? Anything between us is over? And what is it – was it – between us anyway? And what should it be or not be?

Dorran was saying that he would vote for the killing of the orcs. That was where Hadith came back to his senses. He approved Dorran’s judgement and was ready to applaud when he glanced to his right. Johari had slipped away to the crowd… Hadith turned left to see Beloan. His face looked grave and concerned. Something in Dorran’s speech had clearly made that. Hadith thought whether he could brave asking Beloan about what was it.