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Old 11-07-2003, 10:27 PM   #99
Kuruharan
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
Posts: 3,685
Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Boots

Grruff carried her heroes up to the surface and plopped them on the ground.

Merisuwyniel briefly considered untying them, but changed her mind. As she stood and looked at the Broom she was hit by an unpleasant realization.

The cart with the other pieces of the Ent that was Broken had been abandoned somewhere and she could not remember where.

Meanwhile,

The hooded figure of Kuruharan darted furtively about the mighty edifice of the Unmarked Dam.

"Let’s see here," he muttered. "Fifteen sticks should do the trick in this spot…"

He pulled the required number of long red tubes out of his bag and put them down. Then he attached some lengthy wiring and then tossed the loose ends of the wires over the ledge. He continued this process as the Balfrog awoke in his wrath.

About the time that Grruff and the Balfrog were giving each other the eye, Kuruharan finished his work and climbed down. He proceeded to gather all of the loose wiring and bundle it together. When Chrysophylax and Mordaenárur were making their first acquaintance, Kuruharan was busily attaching the immensely fat bundle of wires to a large box with a funny lever sticking out on top.

"Hee, Hee, Hee, Hee," Kuruharan chortled to himself as he finished his wiring.

"Hoo, Hoo, Hoo, Hoo," he giggled as he walked along the lines and made sure that everything was in order.

As Chrysophylax and the Balfrog were plunging into the depths, Kuruharan took a moment to survey his handiwork. The Unknown Dam was literally covered by those mysterious red sticks and wires were everywhere.

"Heh, Heh, Heh, this’ll show ‘em!" laughed Kuruharan. "Lord Dimli will be bankrupted and the king will give the license for the casino to somebody else, namely ME! Hee, Hee, Hee!"

Kuruharan took a firm grasp of the lever on top of the box, and just as Grruff put Chrysophylax and Mordaenárur on the ground, he gave the lever a vigorous push and shoved it all the way down into the box.

*FLASH* KA-BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

RRRRUUUUMMMMMBBBBBBBBLLLLLLEEEEEEEE

The Unknown Dam vanished in a violent explosion and an enormous wall of water shot forth toward the Ham Steep Resort & Casino.

"HA!!!" cried Kuruharan in triumph.

He stood there a moment to admire the sight. Then the little problem with his plan suddenly dawned on him as the wall of water loomed over his head.

"Hmmm," he thought to himself, "maybe I was a little…" *WHOOSH* "…gurgle!"

The waters swept Kuruharan away like any old flotsam and sent him spinning down toward Ham Steep.

Meanwhile…

"WHAT WAS THAT???!!!!" cried Orogarn Two, Earnur, and Pimpi in unison. The Gateskeeper spun his chair in the direction of the noise. Since most everyone else in the history of the world had failed to notice the Unmarked River he did not see anything amiss. "I have no idea," the Gateskeeper replied. "I hope it was not the central heating in my new investment going up in flames!"

Only Orogarn Two had any inkling of what was amiss. He’d been in this particular river before, and he had his crystal to help him.

"What’s that?" he demanded of the crystal. "Slower! I can’t understand you!" He held the crystal before his face for a moment.

"The Lawnmower of Death is pregnant?!" he asked.

The crystal flashed menacingly.

"Umm…your aunt is a kangaroo and she just swallowed her shoe?" inquired Orogarn.

The crystal started skipping about on its chain.

"You don’t mean to say," said Orogarn hesitantly, "that the Unmarked Dam has burst…"

"The dam has burst!!!" cried Norni, running in circles and flapping his arms.

"THE DAM HAS BURST!!!!" screamed Lord Dimli. He exchanged a frantic look with his dwarves and they all bundled off down a side passage.

"THE DAM HAS BURST!!!" screamed everyone else. The crowd of customers fled in all directions trying to escape the raging waters.

"Oh, there it is," said Vogonwë, noticing the flood for the first time.

"Umm…could somebody give me a hand here?" queried the Gateskeeper, struggling to get out of his chair. The Korprat Loyers had instantly buggered off at the first sign of danger.

Suddenly, the flood was upon them.

*WHOOSH-SLOOUSH*

The Gallowship desperately leapt for the entwined bodies of Mordaenárur and Chrysophylax.

*GLUG!!!* went the Balfrog and the Dragon as they instantly sank under the weight of their companions. Fortunately, Grruff was there to save the day again. She swooped down and grabbed hold of Vogonwë’s hair and dragged him aloft. Pimpi grabbed her boyfriend’s feet, Merisuwyniel grabbed Pimpi, Orogarn Two grabbed Merisuwyniel (and, boy! he was a happy man), Grrralph grabbed Orogarn Two and started slapping him about to get him to settle down, Earnur grabbed Grrralph, and Mordaenárur grabbed Earnur. Norni hopped on Chrysophylax’s wing and settled himself for the ride. With all this weight dragging her down, it was all that Grruff could manage to manage to keep Chrysophylax’s head above water.

Chrysophylax was totally unaware of all she was going through (partially) on his behalf and he just floated along singing…

Nobody knoooowss,
How dry I ammmm,
Nobody knooowss,
How dry I ammm,
How drrryyyyy I ammmm!


"Shut-UP!" shouted Mordaenárur, who would have hit Chrysophylax if he’d had a hand free.

Earnur was watching the flood water go by, and remembering all the nautical adventuring of his youth. (He’d been on one brief summer cruise that had ended rather badly in an unfortunate marooning and ultimately being sold into slavery.) Still, he did not let that dampen his spirits. He was damp enough all ready. He was rather enjoying this. It would have been all fun and games except for the fact that he was clinging to an undead creature whose touch chilled him to the bone and had two primordial creatures of evil, both of whom were about fifty times his weight, hanging on his feet. Oh well, nobody said that adventuring was a rose garden!

Vogonwë was another matter. He did not at all like the feeling of having his hair torn out by the roots. To take his mind off the pain he sang a song of his people that seemed eerily appropriate to the current situation.

Ka-Boom! Splash thump!
Down it goes, down it bumps!
Down the dark swift stream you go
Down past plots you'll never know!
Float beyond the world of themes
Out to where a madman beams!


The Gateskeeper just floated and spun beside them, helplessly stuck in his chair. He was reduced to shouting, "Help, I say!!!" at the scarcely less helpless Gallowship.

At that moment, Lord Dimli and his dwarves floated by aboard a luxury barge. They had aboard all the safes from the Ham Steep Resort & Casino, which the Gateskeeper had not had time to plunder.

"Come back here!!!" shrieked the Gateskeeper. "That belongs to me!!!" He tried to shake his fist at them, but alas, it was penned to his side.

"Serves you right," shouted Lord Dimli. "You can tell your dam destroying friend that he has not heard the last of me!!!!" he shouted as the barge floated past.

At that moment, Grruff could not fly any farther and she fell from the sky. Thankfully, the plot required that there be a large rock immediately underneath where she gave out so everyone landed safely (although a little smashed from the impact).

When she recovered (and freed herself from Orogarn Two) Merisuwyniel went over and pulled the Gateskeeper out from where he had been bobbing in the water.

"Well," she announced, turning to the rest of the little group. "Here we are! Now what are we going to do? Does anybody have any idea where we are? Does anybody have any food? How are we going to get off of this rock? Who are we? Where did we come from? Where are we going? How can we get there? Who’s on first and what’s the inning? What shall we do with the drunken dragon?!!!"

Early in the mornin’, sang Kuruharan as he floated into the rock. *BONK*

"Ouch!" he cried as he scrambled up to join them.

"Where have you been?" demanded Merisuwyniel.

"Ummm…" articulated Kuruharan.

"Never mind," snapped Merisuwyniel. "How are we going to get off of here?"

Fortunately, the plot intervened again. The cart that the Gallowship had abandoned at the gates of Ham Steep went floating past, miraculously, all the pieces of the Ent that was Broken were still inside.

"HUZZAH!!!" cried everyone as they scrambled aboard.

Thus they floated off on their next adventure, to the sounds of Earnur teaching Vogonwë a new tune of the sea.

What shall we do with the drunken dragon?
What shall we do with the drunken dragon?
What shall we do with the drunken dragon,
Early in the morning!!!


[ November 11, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]
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