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Old 08-01-2003, 10:31 PM   #17
Maédhros
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Tolkien

I have posted our Version of Part 4 of the Fall of Gondolin in the Private Forum.
Here are a list of the changes that I have made alternatively to the ones proposed:

FG-A-02 Maeglin's discovery of the hidden way:*****
Quote:
{; and by reason of the folly of certain of the quarrymen, and yet more by reason of the loose words of certain among his tin to whom word was somewhat unwarily spoken by Tuor, he gathered a knowledge of the secret work and laid against that a plan of his own}
These words should possibly be deleted. In QS77 there is an account of the preparation of the Secret Way which ends with the words: "and no whisper of it came to Maeglin's ears." But I cannot find sources for most of this passage and suspect it to be a CT/Guy Kay editorial addition. If no-one else can find a source then the story of Maeglin's discovery should perhaps be retained.
Evidence:
From The Shaping of Middle-Earth: The Quenta 16
Quote:
But of the new passage Meglin had not heard, and it was not thought that fugitives would take a path towards the North and the highest parts of the mountains and the nighest to Angband.
I think that the change should be retained.

FG-A-04 The two festivals:
Quote:
So came and passed with revelry of children the festival of {Nost-na-Lothion or} the Birth of Flowers, and the hearts of the Gondolindrim were uplifted for the good promise of the year; and now at length is that great feast [which they named] {Tarnin Austa or}
Nost is dubious for 'birth', but could be kept as the stem still appears in "Etymologies" with meaning 'beget', but Tarnin Austa is almost certainly not valid, and so stylistically it makes sense to drop the Elvish names of both feasts.
We could possibly make keep a Sindarin name for 'Gates of Summer' using _annon_=gate, and a Sindarin form of either Q. _Laire_ or Q. _Saiwen_, just to give us another option; but I agree that deleting both names is the way to go.
Maedhros addition: which before the Q30 they named

FG-A-05
I have added the {new devised} to remove the creation of new dragons for the assault of Gondolin. The time frame between the capture of Maeglin and the attack on Gondolin is a year and some months. I don’t think it probable that Morgoth could bread dragons that fast, if we are going to get rid of the Mechanical Monsters.

FG-A-06.05
Quote:
There too were the folk of the Pillar and of the Tower of Snow, and both these kindreds were marshalled by Penlod, tallest of {Gnomes} [Noldor, save Turgon].
As proposed by Aiwendil.

FG-B-03.05
Quote:
Then that house of the Hammer fared about smiting and hewing the astonied bands of Morgoth till they were hemmed at the last by an overwhelming force of the Orcs and {the Balrogs} [a Balrog], and a fire-drake was loosed upon them.
Altered the plural to singular because of the amount of Balrogs.

FG-B-04 Rog's slaughter
Quote:
Fearful too they were for that slaughter Rog had done {amid} [to] the {Balrogs} [Balrog], because of those demons they had great courage and confidence of heart.
I have undo the deletion of because.

FG-B-06.05a
Quote:
{yet of the leap of that axe Dramborleg that was swung by the hand of Tuor were they still more afraid, for it sang like the rush of eagle's wings in the air and took death as it fell, and five of them went down before it.}
This has to go because there is just no way that Tuor could beat 5 balrogs.

FG-B-06.05b
Quote:
But so it is that few cannot fight always against the many, and Ecthelion's left arm got a sore rent from a whip of {the} [a] {Balrog's} [Balrog] and his shield fell to earth even as {that} [a] dragon of fire drew nigh amid the ruin of the walls.
Plural to singular.

FG-B-07.05
Quote:
But now the {men} [host] of Morgoth have assembled their forces
Same reason as in part 3.

FG-D-06
Quote:
Then the engines and the catapults of the king poured darts and boulders and molten metals on those ruthless beasts, and their hollow bellies clanged beneath the buffeting, yet it availed not for they might not be broken, and the fires rolled off them. Then [from] {were} the topmost {opened about their middles, and} an innumerable host of the Orcs, the goblins of hatred, poured {therefrom}
My suggestions are:
1: insert [from]
2: delete {were the topmost opened about their middles, and}

FG-D-07.5a
Quote:
He himself thought now to take Eärendil and cast him into the fire beneath the walls, and seizing Idril he would {constrain her to guide him to the secrets of the passage, that he might win out of this terror of fire and slaughter and} drag her withal along with him to the lands of Morgoth.
In the Original Fall of Gondolin, it is stated that Maeglin knows of the secret way of Escape, in the Q30 there is no reference of that, since we have deleted that account in our version, this seems suitable for a change. There is little chance that Idril would tell Maeglin of the Secret Way. Of course, there is the possibility that Maeglin being in Tuor’s house found that way himself.

FG-D-07.5b
Quote:
He himself thought now to take Eärendil and cast him into the fire beneath the walls, and seizing Idril he would constrain her to guide him to the secrets of the passage [which he just discovered so]{,} that he might win out of this terror of fire and slaughter and drag her withal along with him to the lands of Morgoth.
In the Original Fall of Gondolin, it is stated that Maeglin knows of the secret way of Escape, in the Q30 there is no reference of that, since we have deleted that account in our version, this seems suitable for a change. There is a possibility that Maeglin found out of the secret way once in Tuor’s house.

Of course, there is still the issue of Rog that we have to deal with. For me, it would seem wrong not to mention his name in the tale, it will seem out of sorts given that all of the captains are mentioned. Because we have changed the name of Legolas to Laegolas, we might apply the same principle and use a different name for Rog, perhaps one of those proposed by Aiwendil. There are some parragraphs that need some attention, especially the ones who deal with plural number of balrogs.
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