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Old 04-17-2009, 01:56 PM   #38
Aiwendil
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Join Date: Mar 2001
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NA-EX-45.3: A nice idea, but I have to say it looks like too much creative writing is required. We're already moving back and forth between prose and verse quite a bit, so I don't think the short prose insertion is a problem.

NA-EX-44c: It occurs to me that if we omit the verse additions to the 'Turin's Fostering' section, then this will be the first switch in the chapter (I think). So perhaps it would make sense to keep the bridge here at least.

Edit: I just realized there is an earlier verse excerpt at NA-EX-37.2b, so probably we should keep the bridge there but eliminate it here.

NA-EX-44.2: Perhaps eliminating the bridge but changing the punctuation to a colon might be good, since the verse section starts with a description of Taur-nu-Fuin:

Quote:
NA-EX-44.2 Therefore he journeyed on through Dimbar, and up to the Pass of Anach in Ered Gorgoroth, the Mountains of Terror, and so to the highlands of Taur-nu-Fuin, the Forest under Night, a region of dread and dark enchantment, of wandering and despair{.}[:]
<Lay Never-dawning night __ was netted clinging
in the black branches __ of the beetling trees;
NA-EX-47: As noted above, I think we should keep the prose insertion here. But reading it again something seems strange: we first say that they 'cut the bonds that held him' but immediately we say 'no blade would bite on the bonds he wore'. Clearly, what the first clause should say is that they tried to cut his bonds. I suggest:

Quote:
NA-TI-23<Sil77 {Then in great peril they entered in, and they found Túrin fettered hand and foot and}And tied he was to a withered tree; and all about him knives that had been cast at him were embedded in the trunk, and {he was senseless in a sleep of great weariness} NA-EX-46<GA; Commentary §275 the {dragon-helm}[Dragon-helm]{ - or} was{ it} set on Túrin's head in mockery by the Orcs that tormented him>. But though Beleg and Gwindor would cut the bonds that held him NA-EX-47<[b]editorial bridge[b/] the Lay tells:

><Lay{No}no blade would bite on the bonds he wore,
NA-EX-55: If you find this bridge useful, I don't suppose there's any pressing reason not to use it.

On BL-EX-19: I was actually going to suggest that once we're satisfied with the Narn we briefly revisit the already completed chapters. Reading through the finished texts for them I found a few issues, mainly very small things. I suggest we look at BL-EX-19 at that time.

Last edited by Aiwendil; 04-17-2009 at 04:52 PM.
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