Anything to which I do not respond, I agree.
Many of my comments stem from
The History of the Akkalabeth in HoME 12. In this, CT lays out all the differences between the published version and the actual final text. I will lay the changes out here for this section. I will use the markers
IN-HA-## for these, HA standing for History of the Akkalabeth.
IN-HA-01: In the third paragraph the opening phrase should be:
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In the Great Battle when at last Eönwë herald of Manwë overthrew Morgoth ...
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and instead of "refusing alike the summons of the Valar and Morgoth" it should "refusing alike the summons of Eönwë and Morgoth".
IN-HA-02: In the following paragraph:
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... Eönwë came among them and taught them; and they were given wisdom and power and life more enduring than any others of mortal race have possessed. IN-HA-02 < Thrice that of the Men of Middle-earth was the span of their years, and to the descendants of Hador the Fair even longer years were granted, as later is told.> A land was made for the Edain ...
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IN-HA-03: At the start of the next paragraph:
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Then the Edain IN-SL-01.3 < gathered all the ships, great and small, that they had built with the help of the Elves, and those that were willing to depart took their wives and their children and all such wealth as they possessed, and they> set sail upon the deep waters, ....
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IN-HA-04: At the end of the same paragraph a footnote was removed:
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... but also Anadûnê, which is Westernesse, Númenórë in the High Eldarin tongue. IN-SL-04 < [Footnote to the text: The legends of the foundation of Númenor often speak as if all the Edain that accepted the Gift set sail at one time and in one fleet. But this is only due to the brevity of the narrative. In more detailed histories it is related (as might be deduced from the events and the numbers concerned) that after the first expedition, led by Elros, many other ships, alone or in small fleets, came west bearing others of the Edain, either those who were at first reluctant to dare the Great Sea but could not endure to be parted from those who had gone, or some who were far scattered and could not be assembled to go with the first sailing.
Since the boats that were used were of Elvish model, fleet but small, and each steered by one of the Eldar deputed by Círdan, it would have taken a great navy to transport all the people and goods that were eventually brought from Middle-earth to Númenor. The legends make no guess at the numbers, and the histories say little. The fleet of Elros is said to have contained many ships (according to some a hundred and fifty vessels, to others two or three hundred) and to have brought 'thousands' of the men, women, and children of the Edain: probably between five thousand or at the most ten thousand. But the whole process of migration appears in fact to have occupied at least fifty years, possibly longer, and finally ended only when Círdan (no doubt instructed by the Valar) would provide no more ships or guides.]>
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IN-HA-05: Two paragraphs afterwards:
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.... At the feet of the mountain were built the tombs of the Kings, and hard by upon a hill was Armenelos, IN-SL-05 < [Footnote: Arminalêth was the form of the name in the Númenórean tongue; but it was called by its Eldarin name Armenelos until the coming of the Shadow.]> fairest of cities, ...
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IN-SL-03/04: When I was making my (very quick and rough) drafts of the Second Age, I used the text you used in this addition in its entirety later, in the chapter 'Aman and Mortal Men.' This addition is actually taken from Dwarves and Men, and is part of a larger discussion of the Numenorean idea of 'Middle Men.' I think it makes sense to use this part here as you did, but I just want to make sure you still intend to use the rest of the Middle Men discussion at some point.