[Kuruharan]

The Very Secret Diary of Chrysophylax Dives-

Day-So lost track of it that it would make your head spin…

*BURP!!!* Good thing that Merisuwyniel was distracted by all of her crying when we "plopped" Gravlox in the river. {wink, wink}

He was delicious!!!!

I certainly hope that this does not have any negative impact on any afterlife that orcs might have, but I just could not resist. Gravlox looked so crunchable. And all of those nauseatingly edifying remarks on the futility of revenge made me hungry!!!

Kuruharan said that he did not think it would have any unpleasant consequences. The power of the Velour is greater than any lack of corpse, or something like that. I was not really paying attention to him.

Kuruharan said something about having to get into the snake-oil business. He tells me that I should be great help in this matter.

The way that he’s looking at me is making me nervous…

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The Very Secret Journal of Kuruharan, the son of Khoreth.

-200 Days after Pre/Post Durin’s Day-

Still reeling from the shock of discovering my heretofore unknown affinity for numbers!!! No wonder I was flipping out in that castle!! Ralph tells me that this feeling should pass soon.

I don’t have the heart to tell anyone that Chrysophylax devoured the earthly remains of Gravlox. I personally don’t see what is so bad about this. Dragon’s gotta eat too. And I’m certain that a two-bit sage off in the East of Rhûde told me that what happened to the body did not really matter that much.

He was a funny chap! All clad in blue robes! There was another fellow along with him too, now that I stop to think of it! What an odd pair they were!!! Relatives of Pettygast more than likely!

Anyway, I just had the most delightful idea. Since the primary demand of these people seems to be for medicinal goods, I need to follow my true calling of becoming a wandering peddler of snake-oil and cure-alls.

Chrysophylax should be of great help in obtaining the snake-oil. He has never gotten along well with some of his cousins. Especially after a certain treasure stealing…uh…misunderstanding.

He keeps on looking at me suspiciously. I’ll let him have the bodies, I dare say, once I’ve drained all the juice out of them.

Ralph said that I could make a 400% profit on my medicines in the current market. I certainly hope so. My profit margin has taken a hit ever since I started on this little trip.

Good thing I ran into Ralph!!! He has some good herbage on his shoulders!!

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Kuruharan approached Merisuwyniel and Earnur as they were whispering to each other.

"Ahem!" said Kuruharan politely.

"Huh?!" said Merisuwyniel and Earnur together. "Oh, it’s you!"

"I have come to announce that I am taking a brief leave of absence to replenish my stock of miracle cures!" Kuruharan said. "We would not want you to be having any more ‘arrow incidents’ and not have any rotgut on hand to cure it."

"No, we certainly wouldn’t!" said Merisuwyniel.

"We’re out of rotgut??!!" cried Earnur alarmed. "But what about that portable still that you have been carrying around?!"

"It was smashed in our last battle," sighed Kuruharan sadly, bowing his head and putting his hand over his heart.

Earnur suppressed a sob, hung his head, and placed his hand over his heart also.

Merisuwyniel, not entirely aware of the magnitude of this disaster, glanced nervously from one to the other. Then, when Kuruharan signaled to her that she should pay her respects, she hung her head as well.

They remained like this for a long moment. The whole time Earnur was manfully restraining his emotions as only the manliest of manly men can do.

Merisuwyniel was wondering, "Why in the world can’t I have a normal Quest like everybody else?!"

Kuruharan was wondering if he could take advantage of this tragedy to extort some parting gifts from his companions.

"Well, anyway, I must be off!" he abruptly announced.

"Will Chrysophylax be accompanying you as well," asked Merisuwyniel uneasily.

"Yes," said Kuruharan. "I fear that he is the only one who knows how to find the right species of snakes."

Earnur continued to struggle with his feminine side.

"Are you sure that you can’t come to Minus Teeth with us?" asked Merisuwyniel. "I’m sure that they have many fine purveyors of snake-oil there."

"Sub-standard merchandise," said Kuruharan importantly. "The stuff that I’ll bring back will make their heads spin, and cure their baldness!"

With that came yet another parting among the Gallowship. Kuruharan and Chrysophylax bid farewell to their companions.

"I shall return!" cried Kuruharan to the assembled survivors. "Look for me when you don’t expect me."

"Thank you so much for that delicious meal…uuhhh…I mean for your delightful poetry," stammered Chrysophylax to Vogonwë.

"What?" said a confused Vogonwë.

"Bad luck about not finding your wallet," said Kuruharan to Orogarn Two. "It seems like it should have been in that musty, crusty castle."

"I know," groaned Orogarn Two. "By the way, when you get back make sure that you bring the deed to that piece of real estate that you were telling me about."

"You can be sure that I’ll not forget that!" said a smiling Kuruharan.

With that Chrysophylax settled down and the Gallowship loaded him down with baggage.

"Well, that’s it," said Kuruharan as he climbed up to his seat next to Ralph. "Good-bye, be good! Don’t stray off the main storyline! If you do it is a thousand to one that you will ever get out of the entangling sub-plots!"

Chrysophylax prepared to fly.

"Are you sure that you don’t have a small something about you to drink; for old times sake?" asked Earnur petulantly.

"Quite sure!" cried Kuruharan. "Ralph wishes you all the best!"

Chrysophylax rose aloft and started flying away.

Before they had passed quite out of hearing Kuruharan turned and put his hands to his mouth and called to them. They heard his voice come faintly: "Good-bye! Be good, take care of yourselves-and DON’T ABANDON THE PLOT!!!"

"BRING BACK SOMETHING TO EAT!!!" screamed Pimpi. "I’M STARVING!!"

Then Chrysophylax and Kuruharan flew away and were soon lost to sight. But Earnur was uplifted at their parting by the dwarf’s promise to bring back more booze, and was thus confident that somehow, some way their paths would cross again.

Kuruharan could always be trusted to show up when there was a potential sale to be made.

[ April 06, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]