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Re: A project ~~~~Revising the Fall of Gondolin
Suggested emendations to Fragment of an alliterative Lay of Eärendel
The poem is found in
The Lays of Beleriand (HoME 3), II Poems Early Abandoned. These are editorial changes to put the poem in suitable form to fit with late versions of the
Silmarillion conceptions.
Remove line 7a: But Wade of the Helsings****wearyhearted
"Tûr" to "Tuor" in line 8.
"Tumladin" to "Tumladen" in line 12.
Line 15 from:<blockquote>
Quote:<hr> of Cristhorn was cloven,****the Cleft of Eagles,<hr></blockquote>to:<blockquote>
Quote:<hr> of the Cleft was cloven,****Cirith Thoronath,<hr></blockquote>"Melko" to "Morgoth" in line 19.
"Thornsir" to "Thoronhir" in line 25. Tolkien gave two replacement lines in the notes which avoid the Elvish name "Thornsir", but the second is incomplete and so these replacements cannot be used. The form
Thornsir is puzzling as a contraction into one word of the
FG form
Thorn Sir. One would expect *
Thornhir, just as
Minhirath 'Between the rivers' presumably derives from
min + *
siriath. Also see
Limhîr or
Limhir 'clear / sparkling river' from
lim +
sîr in
The War of the Jewels (HoME 11), references in the index. Hence my suggested standard Sindarin form *
Thoronhir. Possibly assimilation rules were different in early Gnomish.
"thirty moons" to "thwarting mazes" in line 26. In the later chronology a timing of thirty (or even thirteen) months is utterly impossible. One
could use "three moons" perhaps, but the exact number of months taken to pass from the Cirith Thoronath to finding of Sirion is not stated elsewhere, and I would rather not invent a number here just for the alliteration. But in the
FG account is found "wandering in the wastes" and "they journeyed long tangled in the magic of those wastes only to come again upon their own tracks". For this "thwarting mazes" does well.
"Gods" to "Powers" in line 30. Tolkien generally ceases to use of "Gods" for the "Valar" in later narrative writing except when speaking particularly of Men or when untutored Men are speaking.
".*. the Vanished Isles" to "past the Vanished Isle" in line 31. Christopher Tolkien could not interpret the word, but "past" is a good guess from sense required, and the word seems to have been a short one. The "Vanished Isles", plural, is hard to understand. The Magic Isles are not vanished but accessible, though those who disembark there fall into enchanted sleep. But Eressëa could be entitled "Vanished Isle", singular, as no longer attainable from Middle-earth because of the enchantments placed on the Sea before it during the Hiding of Valinor. Turgon's mariners who sought to reach to Valinor would have been well aware of this. The plural form might be an error by JRRT or a misreading by CT.
".*.*. the sweet breezes" to "then the sweet breezes" in line 35 as thought a possible reading by CT.
"and the dew enchanted" to "and the dew enchanted****drenched their feet." in line 37. This completion to the last half-line of the fragment is suggested by line 70 of "The Horns of Ylmir":<blockquote>
Quote:<hr> Where the long grass stirred beside me, and my feet were drenched with dew.<hr></blockquote>
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Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000212>jallanit e</A> at: 7/8/01 3:23:48 pm