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Old 11-13-2018, 10:14 PM   #59
ArcusCalion
Shade of Carn Dm
 
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For me this is perfect! It addresses all the concerns and flows far better than the original. I only have one gripe, and it is a new one:
Quote:
yet when the gold was once more revealed, then did a cry of wonder arise, for the things the {Nauglath}[Naugrim] had made were more wondrous far than the scanty vessels and the ornaments that the {Rodothlim}[Elves of Narogthrond] wrought of old.
This for me cannot work. We have said in other places that Finrod brought the most treasure out of Valinor, and so this can hardly be compatible. Therefore I think we should remove the later half of the sentence:
Quote:
yet when the gold was once more revealed, then did a cry of wonder arise, for the things the {Nauglath}[Naugrim] had made were {more} wondrous {far than the scanty vessels and the ornaments that the Rodothlim wrought of old}.
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