06-02-2011, 10:59 PM
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#152
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Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,500
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ROFL!!!!
I just got done arguing with some fanboy over at the OneRing.net forums, and what I stated mirrors much of what's been said here lately. Here's my take:
Quote:
...But turning a story that has been beloved by children and adults since 1937 into some 3D fan-fiction parody that loses all its endearing charm would be the real tragedy.
I've already seen what PJ can do with a script, and I am not enamored in the least. The weakest points of the LotR movies were when he played fast and "loose", but when he stayed closer to the original plot, it was magic. Even when he gave dialogue to one character that was originally said by another, it was very gratifying, and at points very moving and elegiac.
No, I don't care to see Beorn enslaved by the lure of the One Ring and dragging Bilbo off to Dol Guldur, only to have a change of heart at the last minute.
No, I am uninterested in seeing an army of Rohirrim arrive at Erebor in the nick of time.
No, I don't wish to see a 15 minute sequence of Bard falling off a cliff and then french kissing his horse.
No, I don't want to hear Elrond whine that "Celebrian is dying".
No, I am against Itaril teaching Legolas to shield surf.
No, I don't want Bilbo to tell Balin to go home.
No, I don't want a maniacal Thranduil slobbering over a piece of chicken while making Bilbo sing.
And no, I don't want a wave of green scrubbing bubbles to take out Smaug at Laketown.
Am I in the minority? Perhaps. But there is nowhere else I'd rather be. Certainly not in the "majority" if that is where you reside. The Hobbit and LotR are two completely different books for two separate audiences. Make the movie ugly and violent enough, and you'll drive away the very audience it was written for.
Strip the story of its elegant simplicity and linear quality by adding a fan-fic rendition of the White Council (which Tolkien didn't even waste words on), and you eliminate the qualities of the book. Smaug and the greed Smaug engendered are the antagonists of the story, not the Necromancer. Throw in a bewildering array of nonessential characters and lose the heart of the tale.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.
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