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gondowe · 01-14-2011, 08:33 AM

Hello, after revising and compare this Ainulindale with mine, first of all I decided to edite the text with the idea of QS77 but with some differences. The words of Pengolodh were distributed in the Valaquenta, the first chapter of QS "Of the beggining of Time", and the second "Of Valinor and the Two Trees". But in general, the 95% of text more or less is the same, with a different reconstruction. As the information is the same I don't think necesary to say here. (And it would be very difficult to me, because I wasn't proffesional editing, and don't have annotated the source paragraphs like you.

I only would like to point that I had changed some "Worlds" by "Eäs", and "Earths" by "Ardas", from the passage Ilúvatar says "Eä, the World that Is".

And a possible addition:

§25 But the Valar now took to themselves shape and hue; and because they were drawn thither by love for the Children of Ilúvatar, for whom they hoped, they took shape after that manner which they had beheld in the Vision of Ilúvatar; save only in majesty and splendour, for they are mighty and holy. Moreover their shape comes of their knowledge and desire of {the} visible {World}[Eä], rather than of {the World}[Eä] itself, and they need it not, save only as we use raiment, and yet we may be naked and suffer no loss of our being. Therefore the Valar may walk unclad, as it were, and then even the Eldar cannot clearly perceive them, though they be present. But when they clad themselves the Valar arrayed them in the form some as of male and some as of female; for that difference of temper they had even from their beginning, and it is but bodied forth in the choice of each, not made by the choice; even as with us male and female may be shown by the raiment, but is not made thereby. Words, Phrases and Passages- Eldarin roots and stems, PE17, <The fanar <taken from above[or "raiment"]> of the Great Valar were said, by the Elves who had dwelt in Valinor, usually to have {had} a stature greater than that of tallest Elves, and when performing some great deed, or issuing great commands, to {have assumed} assume an awe-inspiring heigth.>
And Manwë and Ulmo and Aulë were as Kings; but Varda was the Queen of the Valar,{ and the spouse of Manwë,} and her beauty was high and terrible and of great reverence. {Yavanna was her sister, and Yavanna espoused Aulë; but Nienna dwells alone, even as does Ulmo. And these with Melkor are the Seven Great Ones of the Kingdom of Arda.} AINU-09 But{ think not, Ælfwine, that} the shapes wherein the AINU-10 Great Ones array themselves are not at all times like unto the shapes of kings and queens of the Children of Ilúvatar; for at whiles they may clothe them in their own thought, made visible in forms terrible and wonderful.

Some {} are because for me are redundant.

Greetings

01-14-2011, 08:33 AM	#99
gondowe Wight Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 245	Hello, after revising and compare this Ainulindale with mine, first of all I decided to edite the text with the idea of QS77 but with some differences. The words of Pengolodh were distributed in the Valaquenta, the first chapter of QS "Of the beggining of Time", and the second "Of Valinor and the Two Trees". But in general, the 95% of text more or less is the same, with a different reconstruction. As the information is the same I don't think necesary to say here. (And it would be very difficult to me, because I wasn't proffesional editing, and don't have annotated the source paragraphs like you. I only would like to point that I had changed some "Worlds" by "Eäs", and "Earths" by "Ardas", from the passage Ilúvatar says "Eä, the World that Is". And a possible addition: §25 But the Valar now took to themselves shape and hue; and because they were drawn thither by love for the Children of Ilúvatar, for whom they hoped, they took shape after that manner which they had beheld in the Vision of Ilúvatar; save only in majesty and splendour, for they are mighty and holy. Moreover their shape comes of their knowledge and desire of {the} visible {World}[Eä], rather than of {the World}[Eä] itself, and they need it not, save only as we use raiment, and yet we may be naked and suffer no loss of our being. Therefore the Valar may walk unclad, as it were, and then even the Eldar cannot clearly perceive them, though they be present. But when they clad themselves the Valar arrayed them in the form some as of male and some as of female; for that difference of temper they had even from their beginning, and it is but bodied forth in the choice of each, not made by the choice; even as with us male and female may be shown by the raiment, but is not made thereby. Words, Phrases and Passages- Eldarin roots and stems, PE17, <The fanar <taken from above[or "raiment"]> of the Great Valar were said, by the Elves who had dwelt in Valinor, usually to have {had} a stature greater than that of tallest Elves, and when performing some great deed, or issuing great commands, to {have assumed} assume an awe-inspiring heigth.> And Manwë and Ulmo and Aulë were as Kings; but Varda was the Queen of the Valar,{ and the spouse of Manwë,} and her beauty was high and terrible and of great reverence. {Yavanna was her sister, and Yavanna espoused Aulë; but Nienna dwells alone, even as does Ulmo. And these with Melkor are the Seven Great Ones of the Kingdom of Arda.} AINU-09 But{ think not, Ælfwine, that} the shapes wherein the AINU-10 Great Ones array themselves are not at all times like unto the shapes of kings and queens of the Children of Ilúvatar; for at whiles they may clothe them in their own thought, made visible in forms terrible and wonderful. Some {} are because for me are redundant. Greetings Last edited by gondowe; 01-14-2011 at 08:37 AM.