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Old 09-25-2017, 01:14 PM   #5
Shade of Carn Dm
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Any changes that I do not respond to are ones to which I agree.

SM-01.7, SM-02.1 to SM-02.7; SM-03.5; SM-04.1 and SM-05.1: I agree with you that these must go, but then a new problem arises: why are Kullulin and Silindrin empty? Ungoliant is never said to have drained them, and they are included in earlier chapters. Therefore they must be removed entirely (which I am loath to do) or we must insert an editorial passage (perhaps a significant one) into the Darkening of Valinor chapter in which she drains them.

SM-EX-07.5<MT; 2: Saying the Sun was meant to be the heart of Arda refers to Arda as the Solar System, and is explicitly round earth, and is denied later on when it is said that the sun is drawn under the earth by the servants of Ulmo. This passage could perhaps be used in the Ambarkanta in Volume III, when describing the Cataclysm and the World Made Round.

SM-EX-10.8: Arien > ri missed.

SM-EX-10.9: Why the change? in every diagram and description, the Chasm was between the land and the Outer Sea, and even Christopher Tolkien remarks about the confusion of the placement of the Outer Sea. The only clear layout we are given has the chasm btween the land and the sea, and so I would say we keep the original wording.

SM-EX-11.1: Should this be used? this idea of an assault on the Sun is from the earliest iteration of the mythology, and was abandoned in all subsequent versions, only in one being replaced with an assault on the moon. Then in the radical round earth version, it is returned, along with an attack on the moon. Even if it is the latest text on the matter, it is sourced from a radical change which we have rejected, and thus I wonder if it is to be kept. In addition, it is said that Morgoth does not leave Angband except to corrupt men and to fight Fingolfin.

If, however, it is kept, here are my comments.

SM-EX-11.2: "- because of the death of {Urwendi}[ri]." the word "death" here should be changed to "departure".

SM-EX-11.25: Eonwe cannot be said to kill Morgoth, as it is said in our version of the Prophecy of Mandos that he only stands with Turin, but that Turin kills him. perhaps it can be changed to: "In the end he will {kill}[stand against] {Melko}[Morgoth].>"

SM-EX-11.3: Morgoth cannot gather spirits out of the Void, bc he does not leave Angband as i said above. Maybe stick with the AAm wording.

SM-EX-11.34: The insert from AAm should be placed after the conclusion of the MT sentence. The current arrangement is not good grammar.

SM-EX-11.4: after "dared not come nigh her" I would add "again".

SM-EX-11.7: The whole attack on Tilion being changed feels odd with this transition. Being chased out of the Moon would not make you the victor, even if you returned. I would stick with the AAm version rather than the MT version.

Everything else I agree with. This is certainly a very difficult chapter, but after this and DoV are done, I think the stickiest ones are behind us. Most of the Beleriand chapters are very straightforward, and need only minor changes.
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