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Q. What has got two grey legs and two brown legs?
A. An Oliphaunt with an upset stomach.
Q. What did the orc say after The Battle of the Fords of Isen
A. I am so full, I coulnt eat another mortal.
The King of the Dead walked into The Prancing Pony and asked Butterbur for a drink. Barliman threw him out, saying "We don`t serve spirits in here".
Arwen, Aragorn and Gollum are having a conversation. Arwen say, "Everybody tells me I am the most beautiful women that has ever lived, but how do I know?"
Aragorn says,"I sympathise. Everybody tells me that I am the greatest of living men, but how do I know?"
Gollum says, "Everbody tells me I am the most despicable, ugly, grotesque creature that has ever been born, but how do I know?"
Arwen says, Let`s go and ask Gandalf, he is wise. So of they trot.
Arwen goes in first, and a few minutes later comes out and says,"Its true I am the most beautiful woman ever"
Aragorn goes in, and a few minutes later he comes back out saying,"Its true I am the greatest living man"
Gollum goes in, and a few seconds later comes out and says,"Who the hell is Malcolm Glazer".
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