A shameless ripoff
The race had barely begun when Medul-zoom began to slow down. Concerned, Theoden made his way to the
horsengine room, where Hama had a big STOP sign up for the horses.
“Hama, you fool, what is this? We need to make it to the Gray Heavens faster than the other towers!! I guaranteed a win, it’s my word what’s on stake…. And quite a few gold coins”
“My liege! It is not allowed for those who are involved to bet on themselves, you cou…”
“Oh, faithful Hama, do you think that I am still the old, weak man who was poisoned by the words of Wormtounge? Have you forgotten that Gandalf has restored not only my striking good looks but also my sharp mind? Of course I did not bet on ourselves, it was Eomer. Now pray tell, why are we stopping?”
“There is a troll on the way, My Lord”
“A troll on our way?”
“Yes, Sir. A troll on our way”
“Why is there a troll on our way?”
“I know not”
“Then go and ask him!”
And so, the brave Hama escorted by a chosen group of riders approached the Orc. After what seemed like a short deliberation, Hama came back into Medul-zoom.
“He is asking for a toll, my King”
“But we have no money!”
“I know, I offered him a horse, but he said he was not hungry.
Not hungry. These trolls are as uncivilized as they get. What are your orders now, my Lord?”
“Muster the Rohirrim, we will charge against it. He will run away or perish under our lances.”
[Start= Sound of a horn of Rohan] Time=5*Seconds Pitch= Rather High and whiny [/End= Sound of a horn of Rohan]
“Riders of Rohan” *cheers* “I call on you once more to defend all that is beautiful in this middle earth. A troll, spawn of the Dark Lord whom we defeated yet somehow appeared again (not that I’m complaining because I died in the battle and yet I’m here as well so it’s kind of a good deal… besides he
does make some good cookies) is blocking our way, but we need to get through” *A few isolated claps, many confused looks*
“oh, ahem well… what I mean is…. [Start= Sound of horn] Forth Eorlingas!!!! [continue horn sounding dramatically as Theoden King quickly gets ahead of his column] “What the…” [/End=Sound of horn in a rather abrupt fashion]
“Hama, what is this? Why are you all just standing in place, making bubbles with your mouth? What kind of dark treachery is this?”
“My liege, we follow your orders”
It was only then that Theoden realized what had happened. “I should have never abolished the law of compulsory bathing, things are getting out of hand here” he grumbled
“Riders of Rohan!” he began, “I must ask that you listen to me, and listen well. My order was FORTH Eorlingas, not FROTH. See? Forth, as in forward, attack.”
Riding back into Medul-zoom, Theoden ordered all his riders to go take a bath while he plotted another way to get around this rather large Troll.
“I know!! we could catapult ourselves over the troll.”
“Theoden, have you been hanging out with Boromir again?” Interrupted Eowyn, who had just walked into the room.
“Well, daughter of my sister, I might have been. He is a very nice fellow. I know
he would have helped me find a better way rather than criticize my ideas”
“Now, who do you think yo…”
“I do not meant to interrupt, my m’lady…” interrupted Erkenbrand “There is one way… but it is very dangerous”
“Well, speak up good man”
“Before we left, I trapped this beast… it used to terrorize the folk of the Westfold. I thought it might be useful in a situation like this. I could… I could bring it here if that is what you wish”
With Theoden’s approval, Erkenbrand stalked off the room and came back shortly with a small cage covered by a blanket. He placed it on top of a table and waiting a few seconds for the proper dramatic effect, he removed the blanket.
“Here it is, my Lord, the great beast of Westemnet.”
“Where, behind the rabbit?”
“It
is the rabbit”
“But it is only a cute little rabbit!.... cruelly trapped on a cage” said Eowyn
“No, m’lady, he is a ruthless murderer, we lost ten men trying to trap it”
“You should have used the Holly Grenade” said Theoden, which drew many an odd look.
“Uncle, copyright….”
“Oh, yes Eowyn, you are right. I meant the…. Eh…. Well, nevermind that, tell us Erkenbrand what can we do with this…. Rabbit?”