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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: The Halls of Mandos
Posts: 86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Findegil
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But I wonder now if the second note, placed in the story of Beren and Luthien before Felagund leaves Nargothrond is not reffering to Gil-galad as Orodreth’s son? Christopher Tolkien thinks it reffers to Felagunds wife and son. But would not Felagund be much better equiped to order his own wife - obviously the queen of Nargothrond - then Orodreth, the steward?
May be some one with a better take at english gramatic can tell me if the note must reffer to Felagunds son and wife or if it can not as well reffer to Orodreth family.
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The note is sufficiently vague to refer to either. "His" has no clear antecedent; obviously the last "he" referred to was Felagund, but the proper noun "Orodreth" intervenes between the first pronoun and the second. In fact, in the most technical construction, according to the rules of English grammar, the word "his" must refer to Orodreth; as the last noun mentioned is strictly supposed to be the antecedent of all later pronouns of the same form, until the intervention of another noun.
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If it can then I think we should use that second note an incooperate it into our Beren and Luthien poem, like this:
Quote:
Hearing these words there swiftly stood {1910}
beside him ten tried warriors good, [2145]
men of his house who had ever fought
wherever his banners had been brought.
BL-EX-09 {One stooped and}[Edrahil then] lifted up {his}[the] crown,
and said: 'O king, to leave this town {1915}
is now our fate, but not to lose [2150]
thy rightful lordship. Thou shalt choose
one to be steward in thy stead.'
Then Felagund upon the head
of Orodreth set it: BL-SL-04 ‘{Brother}[Nephew] mine, {1920}
till I return this crown is thine.' [2155]
Then Celegorm no more would stay,
and Curufin smiled and turned away.
BL-EX-10 <GA But Felagund spoke ere he bade farewell:
'{But this}This I {will }say to{ you, Celegorn}[Celegorm] the fell,
by the sight that is given me in this hour, [2160]
{that}by neither {thou}thine nor any power
{son of Fëanor}shall thy kin {regain} the Silmarils {ever unto world's end.}gain
before the End; all in vain
you swore. And this that we now seek
shall {come indeed}be delivered from the triple peak, [2165]
but never to your hands shall fall.
Nay, your oath shall devour {you}all
the sons of Fëanor, and{ deliver} to other {keeping} care
Lúthien’s great{the} bride-price {of Lúthien}bear.'>
BL-EX-10.1 <LQ, note to chapter 15 {But foreseeing evil he commanded Orodreth to send away his son Gilgalad, and wife. / But fearing now that all strong places were doomed to fall at last before the might of Morgoth, he sent away his wife Meril to her own folk in Eglorest, and with her went their son, yet an elvenchild, and Gilgalad Starlight he was called for the brightness of his eye.}And to Orordreth further Finrod spoke:
‘In this dark time with little hope
all strong place are now doomed, I fear,
to fall at last before the might of Bauglir.
Thus I command: To Eglarest and her own kin
you send away the wife of thine.
And with her she should take her elvenchild,
called for the brightness of his eye, Gil-galad, Stralight.’
*
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My line are not good, really, but they might spark some ideas.
Respectfully
Findegil
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Perhaps:
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BL-EX-10.1 <LQ, note to chapter 15 {But foreseeing evil he commanded Orodreth to send away his son Gilgalad, and wife. / But fearing now that all strong places were doomed to fall at last before the might of Morgoth, he sent away his wife Meril to her own folk in Eglorest, and with her went their son, yet an elvenchild, and Gilgalad Starlight he was called for the brightness of his eye.}To Orodreth then Finrod spoke:
‘In this dark time with little hope
I fear at last shall places strong
soon fall before the Orkish throng.
To Eglarest, her home, I say,
thine own dear wife now send away.
And with her take thy young princeling,
Ereinion, heir of the king.
Whose name we call, for eyes so bright,
Gil-galad, the silver Starlight.’
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And I also noticed that some of your verses don't have eight syllables after the style of Ann-thennath. Did you not follow that form?
Last edited by Aran e-Godhellim; 05-29-2009 at 09:30 AM.
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