Hope this is allowed.
What if
The Slmarillion was a
Werewolves game?
(Or What if
The Silmarillion was written by a
Werewolves mod?)
Ainulindalë: The Saga of the Village of Ardaland.
Eru: Hey, everyone! I’ve found a new game, and it’s called ‘Werewolves.’ Wanna play it?
Ainur: Ooh, we want to join!
Ulmo: Maybe we should have jobs in the village so we’ll have more fun. I’ll be the plumber.
Melkor: I’ll be the king* of the village.
Manwë: No, you can’t! Eru made
me king!
Varda: I’ll play a lamp-maker.
Aulë: I wanna be the blacksmith!
Melkor: I’ll be king, Manwë, so just cry home to momma!
Yavanna: I wanna be a gardener!
Mandos: I shall be a judge.
Manwë: If you want to play, Melkor, then you’ll have to play by the rules. Since Eru made me king already you can’t be king.
Nessa: I’m a dancer!
Lórien: I’ll be selling sleeping pills.
Melkor: Rules, schmules! I’m the most powerful, so I’ll be king!
Vairë: I shall be a weaver.
Oromë: I’ll be a furrier.
Manwë: Stop it, Melkor, or I’ll tell on you!
Nienna: I’m the village psychiatrist.
Melkor: You can’t be a psychiatrist! You can’t have other jobs! You’re all my slaves!
Ainur: SHUT UP!
Melkor: Why you . . .
Tulkas: I wanna be a wrestler!
Eru: OK, let’s start the game now. Eä!
Illuin and Ormal: Sorry, we’re late! Can we still join?
Valar: Sure!
NIGHT 1
Melkor:
++Illuin and Ormal Because they’re too bright for their own good.
Illuin and Ormal were killed.
DAY 1
Aulë: Melkor did it, I tell you!
Flames from Illuin and Ormal: Due to a random formula, we have decided to lynch
++Almaren
Almaren was lynched.
NIGHT 2
Balrogs (
mythomaniac): Hey, Melkor. Can we join you?
Melkor: Yeah. Sure.
DAY 2
Yavanna: What do we do? We need known innocents!
Laurelin and Telperion: We are the Shiriffs!
Aulë: Maybe we need new players.
Dwarves: Can we join?
Eru: Sorry, you’ll have to wait for the next game.
Oromë: Hey, other players want to join the next game!
Tulkas: Then let’s end this game already! Lynch Melkor!
Valar:
++Utumno
Utumno was lynched. VILLAGERS WIN!
Mandos: Eru said I’ll be mod for the new game.
Eldar: Yay! We can join now!
Mandos: So it is doomed.
DAY 1
Melkor (
to Noldor): Look, I’m telling you. The Valar are the werewolves. They want this game to end so they can let the newbies join. And those newbies are easy to manipulate.
Noldor: Murmurmurmur.
Fëanor: We need to start another game! No Valar, Elves only!
Mandos: That is not allowed.
Tulkas: Grrr, that Melkor! He tricked us into thinking he’s an innocent villager! Lynch him!
NIGHT 1
Melkor (
to Ungoliant): So, you’re the Beorning, huh? We should help each other.
Ungoliant: Deal, but let’s kill the Shiriffs first.
Laurelin, Telperion and Finwë were killed.
DAY 2
Fëanor: I told you something bad would happen! New game, I say! No Valar!
Noldor: YEAH!
Olwë: The Valar can help you, let them join!
Noldor: NO!
Fëanor: Traitors!
++Teleri
The Teleri were lynched. They were innocent.
NIGHT 2
Mandos: Because you have lynched innocent blood, you shall fear the Cobbler role.
Fëanor: We don’t care! We’ll still lynch Morgoth!
Finarfin: That’s it, I quit this game!
DAY 3
Fëanor: Haha! Look at me! I’ll finally lynch Morgoth!
Gothmog: No, you won’t.
++Fëanor
Fëanor: Farewell, fellow villagers! Lynch Morgoth! I won’t be joining another game for a very long time!
Fëanor is lynched.
To be continued?
__________________
* The role of ‘mayor’ has been changed into ‘king’ to avoid turning this into an allegory.
(For an explanation of roles, see
here and
here.)
__________________
I tried turning the entire
Silm into a
Werewolves game, but I got stuck at
Of Túrin Turambar.