[Hookbill the Goomba]

Much as he had always disliked Mordorian architecture, the sight of the crumbled ruins of the inner halls of Mount Doom palace and casino was something Smilog could not quite stomach. His father hobbled along beside him with an over sized walking stick in his hand. "So, this is what became of Project Zoom?" wheezed the old Dwarf, "a casino indeed! What on earth was Roggie thinking?"

"That it would be a good idea?" Smilog ventured,

"You do know why it was built, don't you?" The old dwarf, stopped and lit a pipe. The hall was wide and high, archways were placed every twenty yards. Though it was dimly lit with small torches, the ceiling could not be seen. Gargoyles were carved into the archways, Orc faces and Orc writing was scrawled all over them. The echo of Smilog's feet continued long after he stopped walking.

"Sauron built it," he at last answered, "For the war. He didn't have the technology to make it move."

"So, why do you think it moves now?" The old dwarf blew a large smoke ring above his son's head.

Smilog scratched his beard while peering upwards. He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. "The same reason that all this other weird stuff is happening, I would guess." Smilog's father, who, I should point out, was named Khuzdnargûn, 'Khuz' to his friends, took a few paces forwards and turned around so that he faced his son.

"But why now?" he pressed, "Why not the last time the Anakronism was at large? Think!"

"Can't I go and have a lie down first?

"No!"

"Well," Smilog sat on the floor, his head in his hands and his eyes closed. "The Blue Wizards must be using it." Khuz shook his head, "Then whom?"

"It is not for the Blue wizards that the mountain had to move," said Khuz, "if anything, it has them annoyed. Anakron is up to something and the depths of Doom are the key! Beneath Mount Doom, there lies a secret. Ever since the One Ring went into the fire, the magma has been unpredictable and wild. When I was working on project zoom, a great earthquake stopped us and all we found in the depths was a small paperweight. We buried it as far down as we could. I doubt if the Blue wizards are aware of it... but the further away from the depths of doom we are. The better."

"Ah." said Smilog, "there may be a problem."

"What?"

"Roggie has the paperweight."

***

The tentacles gripped Tollin's led and the Barrow Wight's neck. Frantically, Tollin grabbed his morning star and swung it at the snakes. There was a cry, but the grip just grew stronger. The Barrow Wight drew his sword and began hacking away; he managed to cut off three tentacles, but more leaped out of the clothing and knocked him to the ground. The Watcher in the Washer laughed and waved two great tentacles in the air triumphantly.

"You see!" it cried, "no one leaves!" Tollin, grabbed The Barrow Wight's tinderbox, which had fallen to the ground, and threw it in the general direction of the voice. There was a screech and the sound of scratching before, finally, the tentacles recoiled and a massive pile of clothes burst into flame.

The great bulk of the Watcher lifted up from behind a pile of clothes. It seemed to be a squid made almost entirely of shoes. It picked up a wardrobe with its tentacles and cast it towards the stunned pair. Diving out of the way, Tollin and The Barrow Wight narrowly avoided some fatal splinters. It made a strange gurgling in it's throat and then whipped some snake-like fingers around their weapons, dragging them away.

Tollin stared blankly at The Barrow Wight as the Watcher drew nearer, laughing. The Barrow Wight fumbled in his pockets, finding nothing but empty wine bottles and corks full of maggots. All of a sudden, his hand landed upon something the shape of a Rhino's head. He took out the paperweight and looked at it in his hand.

"What are you doing?" screamed Tollin. But before anyone could say, 'Orcs in a barrel', The Barrow Wight threw the paperweight at the Watcher. The creature exploded. Literally. A great chasm opened up where the thing once was, and green slime now covered the walls. The Barrow Wight tip towed up to the chasm and peered in. On a ledge, just at arm's length, the Rhino's head stared at him, grinning.

"Gosh," said The Barrow Wight.