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Finally. Somebody besides me cares about this thread. THANK YOU NILPAURION FELAGUND!!!  Together, you and I shall keep this parody strong until the end of ROTK!
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Or until the next World Cup, whichever comes first.
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Just save the Paths of the Dead for me, as I've got a nice little parody planned for that.
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Yes, and save me the part of the Helm's Deep scene where Pfc. Todd Blackburn...erm...Legolas throws the rope to Gimli and Aragorn. And maybe the part when Théoden and Aragorn will attack from the inner chamber of the burg.
Anywhen...
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Éowyn(rising): They had no warning. The wild men ordered coffee, but our stores had run out. Now the wild men, deprived of caffeine, pillaged every village, looking for coffee.
Freda: Where is Mama?
Éothain: We left her behind, remember? She'll just eat all the pizza.
Freda: Oh. Yeah.
Gandalf: This is but a taste of the terror that Saruman will unleash. Soon, he'll take all the sugar in Rohan, and your land will be flooded by hyperactive Orclings. Ride out and meet him head on.
Théoden: Nah, I'm too old to do that...how about Éomer? He could do it.
Gimli: HP-lookalike just sent him away, remember?
Théoden: Right. OK, then. I won't fight. I won't risk open war...
Aragorn: Open war is upon you, whether you would risk it or not.
Théoden: ...ts. Hate those things. They're too itchy when they pop open.
Aragorn:
Théoden: Hey! Nobody rolls his eyes in my court! I'm the king!
Lawyer: A-hem!
Aragorn:
Théoden(to Aragorn): Do that again and I'll leave you behind when you fall from a cliff!
(to lawyer) What?
Lawyer: I represent the estate of the deceased Elvis Presley. You just violated 24 000 copyright laws and is hereby penalised...
Théoden: That's it. We hide in Helm's Deep. Hurry!
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Háma: By order of the king, the city must empty. Litigation is upon us. If you value your life, GO NOW!
*Gandalf and Aragorn rush through the street to the stables, followed by Legolas and Gimli*
Gimli: Helm's Deep! They flee to the mountains when they should kill the lawyer! What has happened to good ol' gore?
Aragorn: Théoden is a cowardly b****** who p*sses on his pants. What do you expect?
*They enter the stables*
Gandalf: There is no way out of that ravine.
Aragorn: Good!
Gandalf:
*glares at Aragorn* As I saying, the people of Rohan will need you. The defenses have to hold.
Aragorn: I will hold Éowyn's...
*Gandalf glares at Aragorn*...I mean, they will hold.
*Gandalf reaches Shadowfax and strokes him*
Gandalf: The Grey Pilgrim. That's what they used to call me...
Gimli: Yak, yak, yak. Why don't you just go?
*Gandalf mounts Shadowfax*
Gandalf: Look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east.
Gimli:
JUST GO! *raises axe*
*Gandalf rides off, passing Legolas and Gimli on his way out of the stable*
Gimli: Damned git almost ran us over!
Later days!
->Elenrod
[ 10:24 PM January 25, 2004: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]