Once I'd read this thread I found a copy of the Catechism to look up exactly what the Catholic Church says about marriage, just to see what Tolkien would be drawing from, if he was, in fact, trying to reconcile his writing and the Church. Here's what I found:
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In the Latin Church, it is ordinarily understood that the spouses, as ministers of Christ's grace, mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of Matrimony by expressing their consent before the Church.
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And skipping a bit farther on:
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Since marriage is a state of life in the Church, certainty about it is necessary (hence the obligation to have witnesses); the public character of the consent protects the "I do" once given and helps the spouses remain faithful to it.
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Now, assuming that elves and 'early' men were a bit more apt to keep their word than those of us today, it would seem that beginning a marriage with the...err..consummation wouldn't be a problem.
Beginning with consummation. That's an oxymoron if I've ever heard one [img]smilies/confused.gif[/img]. I think I'll just go to bed now, so I can stop making my poor little brain work so hard [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img].