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Old 10-09-2017, 10:28 AM   #122
Aiwendil
Late Istar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,129
Aiwendil has been trapped in the Barrow!
One miscellaneous typo:

Quote:
‘Your words are {unwise} NA-EX-27.12 <CoH too proud>,’ said Mablung, though {in his heart he felt pity for Túrin. ‘}<CoH he pitied the young man. ‘Learn wisadom!>
Typo - “wisadom” for “wisdom”.

On the Turin/Gwindor/Finduilas material - I’ve just realized that I was working from an old version of the text here. Indeed, it seems I had already brought up my issues with repetitions between the prose and verse (see here) and the passages had already been re-arranged to improve this. I’ve re-read the section and found a few typos, but only two spots where I still think we have a redundancy stemming from multiple sources.

Quote:
Because of his powers and his skill in warfare with Orcs Túrin found favour with Orodreth, and was admitted to his council. Now Túrin had no liking for the manner of fighting of the Elves of Nargothrond, of ambush and stealth andsecret arrow, and hr urged that it be abandoned, and that they should use their strength to attackthe servants of the Enemy, to open battle and pursuit.>
Typo: missing a space in “attackthe”.

Quote:
<CoH had had a plimps of the power of Morgoth, and had some inkling>
Typo: “plimps” for “glimpse”.

Quote:
<CoH {As}as its north march Nargothrond now held the ‘Debatable Land’ about the sources od Ginglith and Narog
Typo: “od” for “of”

Quote:
{and though }Gwindor{ spoke ever against Túrin in the council of the King, holding it an ill policy, he} fell into dishonour{ and none heeded him}, for {his strength was small and }he was no longer forward in arms. Thus Nargothrond was revealed to the wrath and hatred of Morgoth; but still at Túrin's prayer his true name was not spoken, and though the fame of his deeds came into Doriath and to the ears of Thingol, rumour spoke only of the Black Sword of Nargothrond.} NA-EX-51.1 <CoH , and his strength was small; and the pain of his maimed left arm was often upon him
I think there is a { missing here. Should it be:

Quote:
{and though }Gwindor{ spoke ever against Túrin in the council of the King, holding it an ill policy, he} fell into dishonour{ and none heeded him}, for {his strength was small and }he was no longer forward in arms. {Thus Nargothrond was revealed to the wrath and hatred of Morgoth; but still at Túrin's prayer his true name was not spoken, and though the fame of his deeds came into Doriath and to the ears of Thingol, rumour spoke only of the Black Sword of Nargothrond.} NA-EX-51.1 <CoH , and his strength was small; and the pain of his maimed left arm was often upon him
Quote:
NA-TI-27 <Sil77 Then the heart of Finduilas was turned from Gwindor and against her will her love was given to Túrin; but Túrin did not perceive what had befallen. And being torn in heart Finduilas became sorrowful; and she grew wan and silent. But Gwindor sat in dark thought NA-EX-53.7 <CoH , and he cursed Morgoth who could thus pursue his enemies with woe, withersoever they might run.
The first two sentences here repeat what was just told, much more fully, in the Narn material. I would delete them, and change the conjunction that follows:

Quote:
NA-TI-27 <Sil77 {Then the heart of Finduilas was turned from Gwindor and against her will her love was given to Túrin; but Túrin did not perceive what had befallen. And being torn in heart Finduilas became sorrowful; and she grew wan and silent. But}Thus Gwindor sat in dark thought NA-EX-53.7 <CoH , and he cursed Morgoth who could thus pursue his enemies with woe, withersoever they might run.
Quote:
And going to Finduials he said to her:
Typo: “Finduials” for “Finduilas”.

Quote:
Then Finduilas sat long in thought; but at the last she said only: 'Túrin son of Húrin loves me not; nor will.'>
NA-EX-53.8 <CoH Then {Finduials}she rose, and queenly indeed she looked.> NA-EX-54 <Ap Narn ‘Your eyes are dimmed, Gwindor,’ she said. ‘You do not see or understand what is here come to pass. Must I now be put to double shame to reveal the truth to you? For I love you, Gwindor, and I am ashamed that I love you not more, but have taken a love even greater, from which I cannot escape. I did not seek it, and long I put it aside. But I have pity for your hurts, have pity on mine. Túrin loves me not; nor will.’
Here we repeat Finduilas’s statement that “Turin loves me not”; we must remove one of them. The second instance is crucial to the logic of the dialogue, so I think we must remove the first, though we can take from CoH the “son of Hurin” to refer back to Gwindor’s revalation of his lineage.

Quote:
Then Finduilas sat long in thought; but at the last she {said only: 'Túrin son of Húrin loves me not; nor will.'}> NA-EX-53.8 <CoH {Then Finduilas} rose, and queenly indeed she looked.> NA-EX-54 <Ap Narn ‘Your eyes are dimmed, Gwindor,’ she said. ‘You do not see or understand what is here come to pass. Must I now be put to double shame to reveal the truth to you? For I love you, Gwindor, and I am ashamed that I love you not more, but have taken a love even greater, from which I cannot escape. I did not seek it, and long I put it aside. But I have pity for your hurts, have pity on mine. Túrin <CoH son of Húrin> loves me not; nor will.’

Last edited by Aiwendil; 10-09-2017 at 11:13 AM.
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