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This was like adding insult to injury, and at first, Saeryn could scarcely stand and take it. Eodwine made it clear that she had no choice except to listen. So she did. He wanted to know what she wanted. As though it were so easy to tell him! He might have at least asked her at a more opportune moment. As it was, her mood was such that her reply was civil, yet her voice was very strained.
“I believe it is the custom for the man to speak first, lord Eodwine,” Saeryn said, aware of the proximity of others. “I could think of no way to approach you with modesty and honor."
She let the two words hang in the air between them; obvious was Rowenna's unspoken name. "I left because I was frightened and uncertain about how to answer you - afraid I’d give you the wrong answer. I could not stay and allow such rumors as there were to affect your reputation... or mine. I thought it best to think things over from a distance, so that I could think clearly, and so that my hesitation would not cause yet more gossip to spread.
"I came back because I was hurt and afraid and wherever you were seemed to be home for me. I returned wounded, and there was no chance to speak, and then when I recovered I thought that, as before, there would be time for me to figure out my own feelings, as well as yours, and they became clear to me. Yet there seemed to be a division between us. You have not spoken to me as you once did, and you never asked me anything. Not about my health, not what I learned when I left, not why I returned. I finally figured it out today, and realized, once Degas was here, what I wanted. Yet today I also found, as I had not known before, that another woman occupies your thoughts and your time, so I apologize for being in your way. I shall step aside.”
She began to turn away again, her eyes filling with tears, her happy smile from just moments ago a mere memory, but Eodwine detained her by his voice. "I am not occupied with her anymore than what I just stated."
"Oh, no?" Saeryn flared, whipping back around. Her tears were forgotten and her fury suddenly won in the struggle of maturity. "I don't know what else to call it when I see an unmarried woman make such open signs of affection in the middle of everybody. Or when a man gives up his own horse to let her ride in the race! You might not have been offered this fine animal, Eodwine - you might have stood out, watching that selfish girl ride Flíthaf. If you had offered him to me, I would not have accepted him! She doesn't want you, Eodwine. She wants your lands, your title, she wants the glory of being an eorl's wife. And if you stoop to receive her, because she flatters you and you are drawn to her smirks and her harlotries, then I will be glad that I was not bound to a man so shallow."
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