Vogonwë was in raptures. At the Ye Olde Stationary Shoppe he had bought paper, portfolio, pens and ink in unfailing supplies, while strange creepy creatures came out of their dens, and watched him with wondering eyes. So engrossed was he with his purchases that he heeded them not, writing out his poems with a pen in each hand, all the while explaining in a popular style, which Pimpi could well understand. (This didn’t stop her from tuning him out and doodling pictures of shoes and handbags, however).
As they waited for Merisu to return, Vogonwë finished his poems and went on to letter writing, just so he could try out all two dozen colors of parchment paper and the poet’s dozen of different traceries and designs for the margins. Also, the half dozen different kinds of envelopes and the economy sized box of quill, rollerball, and gél pens; and the buy-one-get-one free box of charcoal pencils. He wrote five letters to his father, seven to his father’s party guests, three to the Blue Faerie, one to Roneld McDoneld, two to his mother’s side of the family in Chippendale, and ten to O Lando (in which he always prefaced Pimpiowyn’s name with “my darling fiancée”). Then he sent everyone on his mailing list a collection of his latest poems, and he even hacked into Orogarn Two’s mailing list and sent poems out to everyone Orogarn knew.
After that he wrote a special poem about the Ye Olde Stationary Shoppe itself:
What joys! What toys!
What a store!
Oh frabjous day! Callooh, callay!
They even have
Paper of turquoise!
Hue.
I could stay there all day,
I could write there all night,
I could mine the depths of poetic thought,
Like precious ore.
Never would run dry the reservoir,
Of metaphors,
As long as always I have paper and pen
At my shoulder, evermore.
I am a poet, hear my roar!
I salute you, oh purveyors of writing goods,
For my livelihood,
And red riding hoods for my Pimpi-ood.
“Vogie. Please change that part.”
And red riding hoods for Pimpi,
Who is very good at—
“Cooking.”
“That’s what I was going to say, darling. What rhymes with cooking?”
“And is very good looking.”
Who is very good at cooking,
And is very good looking.
I salute you, too, eyes of blue.
“Good. Let’s go get something to eat.”
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