- What is it: Huge, black, hairy, leggy, eats everything?
- It's a huge, black, hairy, leggy all-eating Ungoliant!
alternative answer: Shelob
another alternative: pig
(not the pink one, black one,
)
***
Five steps to become a hero:
First, it is required to kill an elf - one's enemy. As the second step, it is recommended to kill another elf - one's freind this time. Third move is to fall in love with one's close relative, preferably sister, but cousins will do too, and marry them. And, of course, it is essential, as the fourth step, to stab some huge animal of the species on the brink of extinction. But one will not get anywhere unless one commits suicide as the fifth step.
Than one becomes a hero and qualifies for nice epitath on one's grave.
***
more to follow, folks
cheers for now