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Old 04-03-2004, 03:10 PM   #138
littlemanpoet
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Palantir-Green By way of clarifying Ędegard's voice & character

I'm sorry to be a real pain, but I need to get this out there, and please understand that this probably is more my problem than yours.......

I'm not sure I'm comfortable with Ędegard being that downright mean. If I may put words into his mouth through your pen, Instead of:

"...but Ędegard gave her an evil look and interrupted her before she could continue.

"We will decide when we must, and I think that the morning is early enough without your stories and silly children's tales!" Ędegard snapped, mounting..."

how about this?....

"...but Ędegard blew an impatient sigh and interrupted her before she could continue.

"My question was about the distance to Lorien, not about the Entwash and its legends. Let us move!" Ędegard mounted..."

Dour and haunted Ędegard may be, and it's okay for Bellyn to THINK he's bitter, but I don't want him to come off as some kind of malicious Bill Ferny type. Ędegard will not cut people down in mockery. Please say that's all right with you...

*****

As for asking for a song, it might be better said that Liornung doesn't THINK he ever would. I hope I'm not trying to be too subtle with this.

"Critical view of all things and people!?!" - - - Augh!

"It was indeed odd that the young man should expect so much of others yet not be willing to give equally as much himself." - - - Could you please show me how I've made Ędegard look this way to you? Are you sure you're not reading stuff into him that I haven't written?

Maybe I need to just let your characters think what they will, and let the story run as it will, but this is really, um, bugging me, to have Ędegard misunderstood, not at just a character level, but at a writerly level, if you know what I mean.

I'll try to explain better. Ędegard is a protagonist, kind of closed, a bit dour, having lived a very small life, limited pretty much to four dark walls. He knows how to have fun, and whereas he speaks only what he thinks is necessary to get across what he means to get across, he's not the kind who would stamp meanly on someone else's treasures. Nor is he the kind who expects perfection from anyone. He has lived a limited life, and a quiet one, and what I HOPE I have shown with him is that he's not used to such boisterous noise, but is beginning to think that maybe it's good for him, which he tried to show by offering the praise to Liornung's song. Yes, his own thoughts inside his head may suggest a quickness to judge, but he's careful what passes his lips.

I apologize if I'm cutting this too fine.
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