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Old 12-12-2018, 05:00 AM   #6
gandalf85
Wight
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 121
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I read through this chapter and think it looks good, with one minor suggestion. When reading through this chapter, I was a bit confused because I remember the port founded by Aldarion being called Vinyalondë. Throughout the main body of the Aldarion chapter it is called Vinyalondë, and it is only in a footnote in the chapter where it is mentioned the haven was later renamed Lond Daer. I feel like the footnotes should be additional material which is of interest but shouldn't be necessary to follow the main story. Therefore I propose a small change:

Quote:
The fellings had at first been along both banks of the Gwathló, and timber had been floated down to the haven (Lond Daer) ...
to:

Quote:
The fellings had at first been along both banks of the Gwathló, and timber had been floated down to the haven of {(}Lond Daer{)} (formerly Vinyalondë) ...

Last edited by gandalf85; 12-12-2018 at 05:11 AM.
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