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Boromir88 · 05-09-2013, 07:34 PM

Hobbit Coalition Pleads for Eru Intervention
TTN's Shire Division

Our team of writers in the Shire have been following a growing story with Arda Cup 2013 just around the corner. We are pleased TTN is first in bringing the story to you:

The little-folk of the Shire have been feeling disenfranchised over the past few years with Hobbit representation on club rosters dwindling down to nothing. Last year only Bandobras Took made a tournament roster, playing for Shire-Bree United and it appears he will be the only Halfling in the tournament again. This has the Hobbits up in arms, pleading for Eru to make an edict similar to the "Tolkienian rule" only for Hobbits:

"I don't understand if Eru is serious about instituting a new rule that clubs need to have Tolkien characters in order to participate in the Arda Cup. Why can't we get a rule that makes teams try out and sign more hobbits?" asked, Fredegar Bolger, President of the Hobbit Futballers Movement.

Special liason to the Valar and Director of Hobbit Affairs, Bilbo Baggins responded by saying: "Eru takes all petitions made to him under advisement. At this time Eru believes it would be unprecedented involvement to instate a Hobbit Rule. A broad Tolkien characters rule is one thing, but a rule specifically catering to Hobbits would be a dangerous precedent. For instance, like myself, I know many other prominent hobbits have decided to retire from playing the game, but that doesn't mean we still don't play an important role in the organization and operations of the most prestigious sporting event in the world. There are even owners who are Hobbits, and I'm sure if they felt it would help their teams win, they would sign more Hobbits onto their rosters."

Master Bolger is not convinced. "The Shire is a long and proud sporting nation. We invented golf and other relaxing past times. We wrote the book on sport and leisure! The past two years just goes to show Hobbits have been driven out of football by the big-folk and don't even give us the time of day to prove our useful skills on the pitch."

It should be pointed out not all hobbits are united with Bolger on this; counter-petitioners have also sprung up, although their agenda appears even more cynical in just riling up the pro-Hobbit Rule groups. "Fatty is cracked, and anyone who believes as he does is also cracked, I say. He needs to keep his nose out of the more wordly affairs. I can't think of a bigger waste of time than kicking an inflated sphere around a patch of dirt with Big-Folk." said Ted Sandyman.

Many Hobbit youth look to the Bullroarer to be the standard-bearer in the movement to catch the eye of owners, and raise interest in signing Hobbit players. But Bandobras is solely focused on this team, and this year. "I'm very happy with my current situation and could not ask for better teammates than the ones I have now. I am confident the team is heading in the right direction and support the ownership's decisions in putting the team together as they constructed it."

----

Have reactions, questions, or comments on this story? Please PM Boromir88 and your comments may be published in our next edition!

05-09-2013, 07:34 PM	#8
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,511	TTN Exclusive! Hobbit Coalition Pleads for Eru Intervention TTN's Shire Division Our team of writers in the Shire have been following a growing story with Arda Cup 2013 just around the corner. We are pleased TTN is first in bringing the story to you: The little-folk of the Shire have been feeling disenfranchised over the past few years with Hobbit representation on club rosters dwindling down to nothing. Last year only Bandobras Took made a tournament roster, playing for Shire-Bree United and it appears he will be the only Halfling in the tournament again. This has the Hobbits up in arms, pleading for Eru to make an edict similar to the "Tolkienian rule" only for Hobbits: "I don't understand if Eru is serious about instituting a new rule that clubs need to have Tolkien characters in order to participate in the Arda Cup. Why can't we get a rule that makes teams try out and sign more hobbits?" asked, Fredegar Bolger, President of the Hobbit Futballers Movement. Special liason to the Valar and Director of Hobbit Affairs, Bilbo Baggins responded by saying: "Eru takes all petitions made to him under advisement. At this time Eru believes it would be unprecedented involvement to instate a Hobbit Rule. A broad Tolkien characters rule is one thing, but a rule specifically catering to Hobbits would be a dangerous precedent. For instance, like myself, I know many other prominent hobbits have decided to retire from playing the game, but that doesn't mean we still don't play an important role in the organization and operations of the most prestigious sporting event in the world. There are even owners who are Hobbits, and I'm sure if they felt it would help their teams win, they would sign more Hobbits onto their rosters." Master Bolger is not convinced. "The Shire is a long and proud sporting nation. We invented golf and other relaxing past times. We wrote the book on sport and leisure! The past two years just goes to show Hobbits have been driven out of football by the big-folk and don't even give us the time of day to prove our useful skills on the pitch." It should be pointed out not all hobbits are united with Bolger on this; counter-petitioners have also sprung up, although their agenda appears even more cynical in just riling up the pro-Hobbit Rule groups. "Fatty is cracked, and anyone who believes as he does is also cracked, I say. He needs to keep his nose out of the more wordly affairs. I can't think of a bigger waste of time than kicking an inflated sphere around a patch of dirt with Big-Folk." said Ted Sandyman. Many Hobbit youth look to the Bullroarer to be the standard-bearer in the movement to catch the eye of owners, and raise interest in signing Hobbit players. But Bandobras is solely focused on this team, and this year. "I'm very happy with my current situation and could not ask for better teammates than the ones I have now. I am confident the team is heading in the right direction and support the ownership's decisions in putting the team together as they constructed it." ---- Have reactions, questions, or comments on this story? Please PM Boromir88 and your comments may be published in our next edition! __________________ Fenris Penguin Last edited by Boromir88; 05-11-2013 at 07:38 AM.