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Old 07-03-2003, 09:09 AM   #12
The Squatter of Amon Rdh
Spectre of Decay
 
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Sting

Hullo everyone, particularly those new to the Entish Bow madness. There follows all you need to know (and quite a lot that you don't) about my character.

Concerning Earnur Etceteron, Lord of Dun Sbrin etc

Earnur is a mighty, honest, noble, brave and frequently misguided warrior of country unknown. Although he is officially part of The Aristocracy(TM), nobody is entirely sure whose owing to an hilarious series of mishaps involving fires in three major cities, a pantomime cow and a masque ball: his is one of the few documents of ennoblement to open with the words "To whom it may concern".

Earnur was once the bearer of Wylkynsion, the dreaded Black Sword of Dun Sbrin, and rider of the mighty Baklava, lord of horses and master of wordless sarcasm; but the former was broken by Vinaigrettiel and later thrown off a cliff and the latter got a better offer during the course of the Entish Bow's revenge. Now Etceteron bears a new blade without a name, although he is seriously considering calling it 'Griper' (see the concluding posts of Revenge), and his new horse is on order from the home stables.

Since the Revenge, Earnur has been seeking healing at the renowned House of Bettifordeth, where his once-magnificent drinking problem has been cut down to a penchant for a small sherry on Sunday afternoons. Who can tell how permanent a cure this has been? Well, I can; but I'm the only one for now.

His malady cured, he dashed off two notes, one asking for a sponge bag, the other requesting legal representation. One misunderstanding and the fall of two kingdoms and a small bakery later he's ready to take on the adventure of his life.

At-a-glance confusion:

Race: Human (approx)
Age: Indeterminate forties.
Eyes: Two
Hair: Yes

Horse Baklava's replacement is a mighty black war steed, whose name shall remain secret until I've thought of one.

Weapons:
Standard-issue magical talking sword, audible only to the bearer. Other properties than speech have yet to be found, although so far speech has been quite enough for most.

An infinity of boot-knives, hunting knives, swimming knives and butter knives (one must preserve the proprieties), any of which can be reached instantly in awkward situations. Also one butterfly knife for hunting moths.

Magical items
The sword (see above). No-one knows what it does because no-one has listened to the instructions and remained sane.

Flask of eternal refilling: "Eternal," notes the sales pitch, "is merely an approximate life, based on typical usage. Refer to conversion chart for details". When emptied this silver flask fills itself with an Elven liquor of great virtue and possible healing powers. Typically it's of no use at all for two reasons: Firstly Earnur has given up drinking and secondly he used up all of its magic at the end of Revenge. There are no prizes for those who know how, why and how many years it should have lasted, because they spend too much time here already.

A helpful talking paper clip: He doesn't have one of these. It isn't even on his wish-list. I had you going, though.
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