Legolas, you're ugly and no one likes you. Go away.
Gimli! Did you cut your beard?
You know, Aragorn, I saw the future. You're going to steal the ring and take over and become and evil dark lord.
You're really not son of the Steward of Gondor, Boromir. Sorry. It just came out. Now you get nothing. Oh, and you're going to die too...
You're a really horrid gardner, Sam.
Not...funny...Pippin...
You know, I think you're getting skinny, Merry!
Frodo, you know that whole story we told you about the ring? Well, we were lying. All the power and suffering was a figment of your imagination.
Ummm...Mithrandir...hate to break it to you, but...you're developing lung cancer. You have to stop smoking.
You aren't so tough Sauron! You're so cuuuuuuuuuute!
Gollum, bad news, all the fish in the world miraculously disappeared.
Aaaah...Masssssssster Elrond! Hmmm...anyone ever told you that you need to work on your eyebrow shape? And have you seen that Jack Black parody? Well, he was right: you might want to rethink your crown choice.
Hey! Haldir! Ishkhaqwi ai durugnul. And you also walk to loudly, that Gimli could have thrown an axe on you, were you in the Void! Haha!
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"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time." - Hobbes of Calvin and Hobbes
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